Behind the veil

The Beginning

Caroline

“I can do this, it can’t be that hard! Or can it?” I said to myself. I said that to myself, ugh I am talking to myself again. News flash: I am the psycho who has proper two sided conversations with herself. It wasn’t that big a deal until recently, and I secretly thought it was a lil cute lol but then I had to go and do it all the time and things got rough with my mother. Long story short, It would be better not to be found talking to myself.
“Caroline! You are not some dumb chick and you gotta find the courage in you to overcome this maths problem babe! You go and nail it girl,” I pepped myself on as my younger brother entered the room and plopped over my books scattered all over my bed.
“hey, I have a question care. If we stand at a shore than all we can see is sea so where does the sea end because all I see is sea?” jessy eyed me mischievously after that mind boggling, lame rant of his. I know I don’t have time for this right now so he needs to be dealt with care or else he wouldn’t leave me alone all day. I flicked my tongue in my mouth as my mind whirled around to search for something equally ridiculous to shut him up but nothing comes. There might be two reasons behind my lack of creativity at the moment 1: he is way too lame than I can ever be and 2: I have a maths exam tomorrow!
“jessy I told you not to spread your clothes in your room or did I not?” shouted my mother from the end of the hall and jessy took his cue and jumped out of my window and onto the porch and out the house, all under a minute. That was clean mama, do I love you! I smiled with relief. I smile quite a lot because it simply feels so good also I like yellow color a lot as it feels like smiles to me. Front wall of my room has been painted yellow because I wouldn’t have it any other color, a girl needs her share of colors and smiles but in order to have that wall painted I put my parents through test of their patience wait test! I have to prepare for the test! See this happens when you talk a lot in your head. 
I took a deep breath and focused on the word problems and formulas in my book. I am quite good with numbers always have been but its high school with all its trig and thetas I am unable to get a hang of.
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Maths is like game and I lost myself in it for more than three hours straight which I realized When I rubbed my eyes after the longest yawn in last an hour, I took my time to tilt my head and look at the wall clock. Okay time to sleep now. I like sleeping a lot not because I am a lazy person but quite the opposite lol. I dream a lot like A LOT and they are so good that I anticipate them. I closed my eyes with a smile on my face, “come baby give me something good tonight, sweet dreams to me.”
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As I left the classroom I was in a rotten mood because it would only be me who jumps around announcing about her exam at home so that when I don’t do good in it I will be forced to answer my mother. I slightly flinched as my best friend came beside me with a huge grin that is an announcement in itself that she aced it.
Usually I am happy for her as she is the genius one with a photographic memory but nah not today.  “How did it go? Who would give such easy questions in exam, what are we second graders?!” Sarah laughed. I gave her a sloppy smile which sobered her up alil immediately. I love her for knowing me and my moods so well but also there is no way that she wouldn’t know it as we have been nemesis-friends-best friends since 5th standard.
She is the most nice looking nerd you might ever see with her dark brown waist length hair and the innocent smile and that added humorous charm. We both go to the same public school I.e Maryland high school which is known for its caliber and commendable staff. It has a big space with warm buildings and open courts for sports. It’s been years that Sarah and I have entered and left these brown small bricked classrooms that now it seems like a second home. I have had a very peaceful aka slightly boring childhood because my parents never got transferred to any other place like other parents do, once we moved here when I was two which means this place is where I have lived all my life. So I ended up attending same school all these years meaning same old drama of same old people at school.
“Are you still having problem with trigonometry?” sarah asked breaking me out of my thoughts. Hell yeah I am having a huge problem handling it. It’s so huge that all I can see is a sea of trig questions confusing me. Lol that just made me laugh quietly, Jessie always gets to me. And now Sarah is eyeing me as I have lost it which I might have.
We ended up in cafeteria which is a shabby little place; actually it’s not that little but cram all these people in here and yeah little you get. It has clean black counters which have lost their gleam years ago but are polished by miss Jane regularly who runs our cafeteria since forever and she knows and cares for most of the students here as her own by now. As we approached the counter Sarah and miss Jane exchanged pleasantries while I gazed over all the tables absentmindedly. When my attention diverted back to the both of them they were pointing at me so clearly I have been the subject of the concerned look of their faces.
“Are you alright honey? Because you look kind of sad and a whole lot more worried.” Miss Jane asked me as her eyes narrowed down. Usually I like her concern and we all have a good time in our small interactions with her, unluckily today is not the day because nor am I hungry neither in a chatty mood. I nodded my head in reassurance and headed towards our spot for lunch and Sarah fell behind my steps after a few seconds with her tray in hand. Haha,I love my spot in cafeteria! Its two chairs with a really high and slightly tilted table in centre and there is a nail in my chair which constantly bugs my butt but do I love our spot. It’s at the far end of the cafeteria so it comes off as alil private (as private as it can get in here with all this noise) also we had a huge fight with some stupid seniors who wanted it for themselves although its only for two and they were four. In the end our persistence led us to having this spot which is such a relief that I can take many more nails to my butt. Sarah says I get really competitive at time which gets childish mostly but who cares I love fighting for what I want. What I don’t like is failing at something and asking for help especially guys as they don’t need anyone else boosting their ego because they are way over themselves in their head as it is. It pains me to think that now I would have to ask josey for help which I wanted to avoid in the first place and landed in this big a mess now that half of semester is gone and I barely know my bases from perpendiculars.
“Don’t look right now but there is a cute guy on our left,” Sarah whispered while her face contorted with half a smile and some attempt at looking cute as she placed her tray on the table. She has a new crush every two weeks and I am used to her infatuations by now.
She tried to bat her eyes and that was it for me. I started laughing so loud that she forgot all about her expressions for the cute guy and gave me a concerned look. I pinched her cheek hardly because she always gets irritated when I do that hence I love doing it. We fall in our friendly banter and I let it go to the back of mind that I would have to ask josey tonight for help.
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After school I decided to walk home alone to think through my options so I told Sarah that I won’t join her today for our after school latte and headed home. Marryland high school is two blocks away from where I live and Sarah lives one block farther away. It has always been our routine to go to the park situated In the middle of both of our houses whenever we needed to talk alone since we were kids.
The streets are so familiar that I put one foot in front of the other without thinking at all and feel myself relax. It’s one of those things that I cherish and crave in life with a houseful of crackhead siblings. We are five in all and I am the eldest but I seldom feel so because duh, no one ever listens to me. Josey is after me and god do I hate him. He always find ways of acting elder than me with his friends and their big brothers and their cunning brains. Who does even allow boys to hang with their friend’s elder brothers and their friends?! It’s so unhealthy for them to act all grown up before they even grow up. Although in all honesty josey was always the mature and quieter one among all my siblings and most of the time I keep guessing what is going on in his mind. Anyway, jean is younger than josey but because he used to hold me and josey back from fighting when we fought like crazies my mother teased him once by calling him holder and that kinda stuck so we all call him holder now. Then, comes my sister Rachel and my kid brother jessy. He came as a surprise and a good one nonetheless.
As I approached my house I took a minute to appreciate the peace outside it before going in. The house is painted white on the outside with low set windows and heavy wood front door which really doesn’t go with the whole look of the house.
The door opened with a loud band and out came my sissy with a flaunty grin on her face, I realize she is dressed up as I take her in. ugh she thinks she is the beauty queen and she is only 12, I don’t know what will become of her a few years later. She has a lot going on for her with her perfect blond thick locks and huge dark eyes whereas I have always been touchy about my hair as they never grow past my shoulders. My only pleasure comes from the fact that I have pure black hair and I don’t even care about it much but Rachel does so I love pissing her off by flaunting them. I might also secretly enjoy her dumb questions a lot but no one will ever know that and least of all, her.
Now she is giving me a questioning smile because she needs me to compliment her. Well, she might have to wait for a while for that. I walked past her and went in slamming the door behind me.