The Hotel

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Once Upon a Time. Even if I want to sometimes to make sure they get treated better.

A/N: Thanks to queen-of-the-merry-men on tumblr for the original prompt: OQ + Hotel. I decided to make it an AU in which Robin came over in the first curse because I feel we need more of those. This has been posted to my tumblr since April and I've written a few more pieces set in this verse. People began asking if I was going to put it up elsewhere so I decided to do so. I hope you all enjoy it!

These are also not written linearly, so there will be jumps in time, going between the early days of the relationship and later when it's more solid.

There were days where Regina Mills wished that her curse had allowed her to keep her magic. For right now, she wanted nothing more than to turn the idiot standing in her foyer into a pile of ashes. Or at least back into the mouse he had been in the Enchanted Forest. Then she could just let a cat loose on him.

"What do you mean I have termites?" she asked, hissing at him.

He gave her a bored expression. "I mean I found termites here in the floor. The sound your son was talking about when he was in a quiet room? Was him hearing them eating through the beams."

"But how did I get them? When did I get them?"

"You seem to have had them for a few years now," he explained. "And as for how...I don't see any records of you putting in anything to prevent termites."

Regina wanted to throttle him. "Isn't that your job? Why didn't you tell me about these options before?"

"It never came up."

"It never..." She blew out. "Okay, what do I do now?"

He looked up from his clipboard. "I'm going to advise you and your son to stay elsewhere while we fumigate and lay down the treatment. We can get started tomorrow and be done in about three days."

"Three days? Where am I supposed to take Henry for three days?" she asked.

"Granny always has rooms," he replied, not blinking before she slammed her front door in his face.

Regina scowled and stormed off to her study, grabbing the phone book. There was no way she was staying at that flea-ridden wolf's bed and breakfast. She had to have created a five-star hotel when she cast the Dark Curse, though tourism wasn't much of an industry in Storybrooke.

Her fingers stopped when she saw "Ever After Hotel" listed and dialed the number printed. A pleasant, accented voice answered the phone and she took on a businesslike tone. "I'd like to book your best suite for four nights. It'll be for one adult and one child."

"And when will you be checking in?"

"Tonight," Regina replied, already gathering items she believed she would need while away from her house.

She heard the clicking of a computer. "Okay, we can accommodate that. I'll put everything through. Will you be paying with a credit card?"

"Yes, I will," she replied. "Do you need anything else?"

"Just your name."

Her cheeks warmed and she grimaced. "Right. It's Regina Mills."

There was a pause before: "As in Mayor Mills?"