Stories from past me (books I wrote from my past) (with commentary.)

Title: N/A- Age: 10

Prologue
"He is here. He is coming." (I swear on my life almost every book I write now-a-days starts with dialoge. Btw, great start, Past me.)
Mist cleared as he old king stomped (stomp. Stomp. Stomp.) through the palace ballroom. He walked 'till (use until next time, ya hear?)
he reached the green crystal ball- Wonders.
With out (incorrect there's no space, dummy.) hesitation, he murmed (lol you can't spell murmed... Oh wait. I can't either.) something;
"Show me the saveors (no.) of our land."
blue (you need a captial.) mist started to arise from the green ball - showing 7 (seven) ordinary kids.
"Fire, Earth (you don't need no capital letter for the e in earth.) , Water, Air, Light, Dark- and most important of all - Magic." The king murmerd.
One (NOW you decide to write the numbers in a correct way?) Woman saw (well way to go her.) "They are ordinary?" she questioned. (How is that a question?)
"They are the saveors (you can't spell.) of our t(l)and (the t is there by accident.) These 7 children are   (Big space) not ordinary." He stayed.

"They.

Will.

Save..."

"Our land..."

•  •  •

Chapter 1

"Hurry up, Lauren!" (I told you.) A young boy complained.
"No!" 'Lauren' replied (,) shaking her head.
"You can't really be scared of slides!" (But she is, tommy.) the boy complained, His (wrong puntuation.) name was Tommy
-Well, that's what Lauren calls him.
"Well, I am, Tom-OARRR!" Lauren screamed.

(Note: I lost the rest of the story. So that's it for now.)