Butterfly ( Jimin's Short Story )

|| 06 ||

"Hahaha tignan mo nga, ang cute mo kaya dito." sabi ko habang tumatawa hahahaha, ang cute niya i cant help it.

"Tss burahin mo nga yan ang pangit oh, may ice cream pa ko sa ilong ang kulit mo talaga." Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkainis niya dahil ginawa ko pang wallpaper yung picture niyang yun.

"Ayoko, ayoko, ayoko hahaha."

"Ayaw mo ha?" Pagakasabi niya nun ay bigla niya kong kiniliti gamit ang isa niyang kamay.

"Oy tama na hahahhaha nagdadrive ka eh hahahahhah mamaya na hahahahhaa itigil mo nga yan hahahahahaha." Dahil sa kulitan namin, hindi na namin napansin na may paparating na truck sa harapan.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"JIMIIIIN."

Sigaw ko. I was panting. I was breathless. Hindi ako makahinga. What is that? A nightmare? A memory? I burst into tears sa hindi malamang dahilan. I was with a guy. Hindi siya clear and i didn't saw him. Iyon ba yung aksidente na nangyari sakin? Was it a memory? Or is it a prediction na mangyayari sa future. No no no, that can't happen. Si Jimin agad ang unang pumasok sa isip ko. Kung mangyayari man samin ni Jimin yun hindi ko kakayanin. Hindi ko nakilala yung lalaki sa panaginip ko but i swear to God pag nangyari yun hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Or nangyari na?

"Anak what happened? Are you okay? Why are you crying?" I hug her tight. I dont know what to do.

"Mom hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Its getting worse. Bakit ba ayaw pa bumalik ng alaala ko? Litong lito na ko. Pakiramdam ko wala na kong alam. Sino yung lalaking yun? I was with him in the accident right? Sino siya Ma?"

"Anak we should wait, yun ang sabi ng doktor diba, your memories will come back soon--"

"Kailan pa Ma? Bakit hindi niyo nalang sabihin ngayon? I feel useless, helpless, hopeless. I feel empty Ma. I need to know who he is." I raised my voice towards my mother because of frustration.

"Anak calm down."

"I cant Ma. Im tired. I want to remember. I want to gain my memories back. Im getting tired already."

My mother hug me to sleep. When i woke up, sumakit bigla yung ulo ko. That nightmare was still clear in my mind. I need to see Jimin. Bumangon na ko at bumaba i dont know where he is basta alam kong kailangan ko siyang makita. It sounds crazy but i missed him already.

"Im going somewhere." Sabi ko ng makita si mommy sa may living room.

"Anak san ka pupunta?"

"I'll be back Mom."

Naisipan kong pumunta sa park at nagbabakasakaling andun siya. And i was right, i saw him sitting on one of the benches. Nang makalapit ako sa kanya ay agad ko siyang niyakap.

"Woah miss me that much." Hindi ko siya sinagot at mas lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa kaniya.

"Alisa may problema ba?"

"I had a nightmare, i dont know pero feel ko it was a memory." Tinanggal niya ang pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya at hinirap ako.

"A memory? What is it?"

"Iyon ata yung aksidenteng nangyari sakin. I was with a guy. I dont know him. He was the one driving. And you know what? Ikaw yung unang pumasok sa isip ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Its tiring. Nakakapagod maghintay kung kailan babalik yung memory ko. One year na yung nakakalipas pero bakit wala pa rin akong maalala?"

"Alisaaa."

"I will never ever forget that accident. Ng dahil dun nawala lahat ng meron ako. At ang masakit pa dun, hinding hindi ko na maibabalik ang mga yun. I was in a coma for three months, my mother told me that. Akala ko okay na nung nagising ako but it became worse. Wala akong maalala. That was the most tragic moment in my life. Do i deserve to lose my memory? Am i destined to suffer?"

"You told me na napanaginipan mo yung accident na nangyari sayo, may i ask kung galit ka ba dun sa lalaki dahil naging careless driver siya?"

"I dont know, maybe yes, maybe no. I blame him for losing my memory, pero naisip ko rin kung ano kaya yung nangyari sa kanya. Paano kung mas malala pala? I would never forgive myself if that man died because of me."

"Hey dont blame yourself, wala naman sigurong may gusto sa nangyari. And even though that man died beacause of you, i know, matagal ka na niyang pinatawad or baka nga hindi siya nagtanim ng galit sayo. Because you'll never know, maybe he loved you very much na okay lang na mamatay siya, wag ka lang masugatan ni isa." I stared at him for seconds. Para kasing naexperience niya na to at ang dami niyang alam.

"Paano mo naman nasabi yun? Nandun ka ba? Would you do that too? Sacrifice your life for the woman you love the most?" Nakitang kong ngumiti siya ng maliit.

"Of course. I would never think twice to offer my life to the one i love. Mas okay ng ako nalang yung mawala kesa siya. Hindi ko ata kasi kakayanin. Para lang din akong pinapatay araw araw kung wala siya sa tabi ko."

"Jimin."

"Hmm?"

"May minahal ka na ba? Do you love someone right now?" Nagulat siya sa tanong ko. Maybe he didn't expect that.

"Yes, i love someone right now, the next day, the following day, forever. I would love her always no matter what." Parang tinutusok tusok yung puso ko ngayon. May mahal siyang iba. Meaning hindi ako yung gusto niya?

"Ahhh..Pwede ko bang malaman kung sino?"

"Why'd you want to know?"

"Wala lang."

"Hmm, you'll know soon."

Silence. Walang nagbalak magsalita. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.

"Uhhh Jimin, i have to go."

"Huh? You're leaving? Ngayon? Can't you stay a little bit longer."

"Sorry may kailangan pa kong gawin."

"Pero...."

"Bye."

"Alisaa sandalii."

I started walking away with tears running down my cheeks. Talaga namang sahig na lang ang sasalo sakin.

****

LAME. Inaantok na ko eh. Pasensya na ang pangit. Maganda naman ako kaya okay lang yun. Whahahhahahaha sorry walang kilig moments dito pati tuloy ako nabored. But anyways, leave a comment and vote.

- Nyxx