My Baby You'll Be (Laurmani)

27

Normanis POV:

"Our baby"

I felt my heart clinch. It felt like somebody reached in with their bare hand and crushed my heart while a thousand pounds of weight crushed my chest.

Immediately the thought of what I did to my baby, to our baby hits me like a train. It was such a selfish decision of mine. But I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to give up on my dreams... to change and alter my body.. to cancel my life goals that I was so close to getting. I wasn't ready mentally to love that baby unconditionally.

I thought if he never figured out, it couldn't hurt him. Only I would be the one hurting. I also convinced myself that if he did know before hand he would have been the one convincing me to get an abortion. Somehow that thought was keeping me sane.

But here he is now saying that he wouldn't run, that he would be here for our baby. For what baby? The baby is dead. I killed our baby.

How did he find out? Zendaya? Dinah? Lauren? No she wouldn't. It had to be one of the first two.

He saw my expression, the look of chaos and fear "I'm not afraid mani" he grabbed my hands tighter "I remember what you told me about your father. How he left. I wouldn't -"

"Trevor please.. not now" I cut him off pulling my hands out of his as my eyes started to water. I can't cry now. This is my night "Why right now?"

"You've been avoiding me" He sighed "You know what? I'm sorry you're right. This isn't the time. Just tell me that you'll let me be in my baby's life. I could move to California with you. We can make it work"

"There is no baby" I murmured, feeling all types of ashamed. I should have told him. I knew it was Trevor's. There were others but the baby was Trevor's.

I never knew one of the hardest parts of this decision would be the point when I have to tell people. When I have to look in their face and tell them that the baby I was supposed to carry in my stomach for nine months, that I was supposed to love, cherish and watch grow into a small version of me is gone.

"What?" He raised his brows in pure shock.

"I didn't keep it"

Somehow his brows raised even higher and his jaw slacked slightly "Seriously?" He whispered leaning in anticipating my answer.

"Yes, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about anything. I just didn't want to bother you with this mess. I-"

"No it's.. I don't know, shit" he huffed holding his hands up over the back of his head "I mean I wish you would have told me. I was kinda excited. But... I'm relieved"

"Relieved?" I breathed, seemingly more relieved myself.

"Yes, when I heard about this baby I wanted it so bad. But I think for wrong reasons, I thought it could be my second chance with you" he smiled dipping his head, looking up at me in that charming way he always did.

"Normani your modern piece is up in ten, you have to get in the wing" a voice of a dancer called out from the other side of the curtain causing me to look back.

"Yeah about that... No. This was all a mistake. A huge one. I have to go"

"Wait, good luck" he smiled "I'm sorry for pulling you up about this now. We can talk more later, Z invited me to the family dinner if that's okay. We should really talk"