Am I Gay?

Chapter One

I have always questioned my sexuality.
Aged sixteen, with no idea what I want. Sounds a bit like a midlife crisis.
When I look in the mirror I don't even recognise myself. Am I gay? Or am I not?
Ugh.
I wish I could come out I'd get to be myself, I can release this burden off my shoulders and no more secrets.
But there are bigger cons, girls feel uncomfortable around you, people see you as 'different' and the worst one being disappointing your family.
My family definitely would look down on me if I ever came out. My father would hate me, he is just a down right homophobe. He would disown him me.
My father was already disappointed of me for not being a boy, but being gay? I shudder as to think what might happen. My mother isn't against it, she's just too Afraid to go against my fathers decisions..
I remember one rainy day, when the sky was releasing torrents of icy cold rain, and the sky was so dark you couldn't tell the difference between night and day. Mother wanted to watch her TV show when father's football match was on. What happened after was what mum blamed on alcohol and stress. She said he really didn't mean it, that it was fine... It was a bit difficult to concentrate on her words though with that big black eye. She hasn't fought against him much since.
I've considered running away, but I am too cowardly. I would miss my friends, they have been the only people to help me through this rough patch.
Kat, Olivia and Theresa. Them as a group are my rock.
Kat studies like crazy, and is the wise one of the group. She has often given me advice that has helped me through dark times. Dark chocolate wavy hair with intelligent grey eyes, she is absolutely stunning and doesn't even know it.
Olivia is the party animal, she is a bit loco, but who cares? Red curly hair with green eyes, cute freckles and an awesome sense of style, she's definitely a heartbreaker. I sometimes wonder why she hangs out with us, she's so effortlessly cool she could have her pick of anyone.
And then there is Theresa, she is almost like the alpha of the group, the rest of us being deltas. Blonde hair, brown eyes and a stunning pair of cheekbones, many boys swoon over her.
Yet I am the outsider, this isn't like those books when girls think they're ugly and they turn out to be gorgeous, I am plain. Black hair, grey eyes and deathly pale skin, I don't stand out. I'm a little too skinny and I have the worst posture. It's not like people are clawing to get to me but, I'm happy with the way I look.
Sounds depressing or clichéd? Sorry that's the way it is.
I am plain old Agatha.