Life in the Friend Zone

chapter 1-Do I have a permanent booger?

“So, I had a really great time tonight” I smiled brightly at my date- Tim. He didn’t look too bad with his shaggy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, though I must admit he was a little on the skinny side, but hey looks aren’t everything right?

There was a bit of an awkward silence which I didn’t quite understand, wasn’t it obvious that this was the part where he says, “I had a great time too, we should do this again soon” but not my date, or any of the previous ones either.

He coughed awkwardly and avoided eye contact. “Uh,” he began”, Look Emily, you’re nice and all, but I’m kind of in a bad place right now so…” he seemed lost for words.

I decided not to say a word. For once I hoped my date would have an original excuse because I was really tired of the usual “It’s not you, it’s me” or the current chart topper, “I just got out of a relationship, so I’m not ready for anything serious right now”, I had already lost enough brain cells on the lame excuses I had heard so far.

After what seemed like hours he finally realized that I was not going to interject so he was forced to finish what he had started, “So, uh, thanks for paying. I won’t forget my wallet on my future dates” he laughed awkwardly.

Wow, I was speechless. He didn’t possess enough intellect to at least come up with an excuse; this date was officially an all-time low for me, I don’t think my brain would ever recover from this. With as much dignity as I hoped I had left, I walked away from him.

****

I went straight to the kitchen as soon as I walked into my apartment kicking my shoes off along the way. I turned the kettle on and went to change into my “Nobody wants you” sweat pants. I dialed my best friend’s number once I was settled on my couch with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a soppy romance movie.

“Hey babe!” I smiled shaking my head at her greeting. Only Kimberly could sound so happy all the time.

“Hey Kim,” I sighed

“Uh oh, again?”

“Yes! Can you believe it? And the worst part is that the idiot couldn’t even think of an excuse!”

“Whoa tiger, slow down. Was it really that bad?” her voice was laced with concern.

“Kim, what’s wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? Do I have a permanent booger up my nose?” I let my walls down and let her hear the sadness in my voice because I felt much worse than I sounded.

“Honey you are all that and more-except the booger thing of course. The right guy will come along soon and sweep you off your feet and-“

“Kim I’m 26! You have a husband and a cute little boy; a family. I can’t even find a boyfriend for goodness sake”

She sighed heavily, and I instantly felt bad because I knew that I had made her feel guilty. When we were younger we had promised each other that we would have a double wedding and get pregnant at the same time so that our children could be best friends…but I couldn’t hold up my end of the deal.

“Em, you are gorgeous, okay? I have to go now; I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”

I nodded as though she could see me, and I was happy that she knew that I had nodded because we had known each other that long. She ended the call and I was back to the silence and empty feeling of my apartment.

I stood up and walked to my wall length mirror and began my daily self-inspection. I began with my golden blonde hair that fell perfectly midway down my back. My face looked pale and my grey-blue eyes looked emotionless. I knew I had a great body because I worked out all the time, but somehow I still felt insecure.