His Mistake (Dean Winchester)

Chapter 8

Beth's P.O.V.
It's been five months since Dean left and I've been hunting ever since. I need to find him. Lily still lives with Bobby. I haven't seen her in a month. I know, I'm a horrible mom because I'm able to see her and I don't but I have to find Dean. I'm on a werewolf case right now. I grab my gun and head into the abandoned barn. I see two guys tied up to chairs and I quickly run to untie them. I realize it's Sam and Dean. I quickly untie them and they rip the tape off of their mouths.
"Beth?" Dean questions.
"H-Hi Dean."
I hear a growl and quickly turn around. I aim my gun and shoot the werewolf in the heart. We all go to the hotel that the boys are staying at and Sam goes out to get food.
"How long have you been hunting and why?"
"Five months. I had to find you." I whispered.
"Where is she?"
"She's okay, she's with Bobby."
"When was the last time you saw her?"
"A month ago." I whisper.
"Seriously?!"
I wince.
"I call her before bed every night."
"Beth, that means nothing! She needs you and you haven't been there."
"She needs you too, Dean!"
"She obviously does because you're absolutely insane."
Ouch.
"I-" I start, but he cuts me off.
"I'll try to stop hunting. I'll come live with you."
I feel a jolt of happiness in my heart. She can have a dad. She's been begging. That's the main reason I had to find Dean. She wasn't happy anymore. She said this is what she wanted. She was happy that I was looking for him. She's going to be so happy.
"I'll come back, but I won't be with you."
"W-What?"
"We can pretend to be together and happy in front of Lily but I don't actually want to be with you. You left her. I know I did too but you were the only parent she had and you left."
"You don't unders-"
"I understand perfectly."
"Can I at least explain?"
"No, nothing will make up for that."
I look down with tears threatening to fall.
"Okay." I whisper, as my voice cracks.
"Don't even start. I don't feel bad for you."
"Dean, why are you being so mean?" Sam asks, as he wraps his arm around me.
"She left Lily to hunt. She hasn't even seen her in a month."
"Dean you did the same thing. You can't blame her."
"I left because I wanted to protect them. You don't even know why she left."
Sam looks at you.
"I-I left to find Dean."
Sam slowly pulls himself away from you.
"I thought you were different, Beth. That's why I always took your side. Turns out you're worse."
I can lose Dean. I've lost him before but I can't lose Sam.
"Sam-"
"No Beth."
"We're moving in with Bobby to help out with Lily. To be there for her. We're gonna try to give up hunting."
Sam's eyes light up.
"Seriously?!"
Dean nods.
They pack up and we get into baby, me in the backseat; obviously. I put my headphones in and start crying quietly so they don't hear. My quiet crying abruptly turns into sobbing and I feel like I can't breathe.
"Dean pull over!" Sam yells.
Dean pulls over and both boys jump out of their seats as I open the back door, collapsing onto the ground. Sam pulls me to his chest as I struggle to breathe.
"Beth, you have to try to breathe. Think about Lily. Think about your beautiful daughter that's waiting for you to come home."
That only makes it worse. I start sobbing, feeling like I betrayed her. I shouldn't have left even though it's what she wanted. I hold my chest, physically feeling my heart break. I start quietly crying after about 20 minutes of sobbing. I wipe my face and slowly get back into the back seat. This time Dean gets in the back with me, leaving Sam to drive. He pulls me into his arms, knowing that that's what I need right now.
"This doesn't change anything." He whispers.
I nod and curl more into his arms, knowing I won't get to lay in them again. He tightens his arms around me. I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is Dean shaking me.
"I'm up, I'm up." I moan.
I jump out of the impala, not caring about my bags or the boys that are slowly trailing behind me. I only care about seeing my daughter. Lily runs out of the house and into my arms.
"Mommy!"
"Hey baby." I whisper, trying not to fall apart.
She looks over at Dean and Sam.
"Uncle Dean! Uncle Sam!" She yells, going to hug them.
Then she looks at me, sadly.
"You didn't find my daddy?"
"Lily-" I start, but she interrupts me.
"You promised me! I hate you!" She screams, running into the house.
Dean and Sam exchange confused looks. I drop to my knees, trying not to have a breakdown.
"Beth, she didn't mean it." Bobby says.
"I should've never left her. I should've never promised."
"Beth come on. She begged you for a month before you caved. You told her you didn't want to look for him because it was dangerous. She wanted you to go."
"Wait- what?" Sam and Dean say at the same time.
"You guys didn't know?" Bobby asks.
"Oh my god Beth." Dean says.
"Beth I'm so-" Sam starts.
"Save it." I growl.
They look at me shocked. I walk up to Dean.
"We pretend. For Lily. There's nothing real here. There never was."
"No Beth-"
"I tried to explain. You didn't listen. Your loss."
I look at Sam.
"As for you, I can't believe you honestly. You've always let me explain. You're just like Dean."
I grab Deans hand and stomp upstairs. I put on the best smile I could muster. I push Lily's door open. I pull Dean with me as I sit on her bed.
"Lily, baby."
She looks up, through her tears.
"I didn't mean it, mommy."
"I know, sweetie. I found your daddy."
Her eyes light up.
"Dean is your dad. I told you he was your uncle because I didn't know how you'd react to him being your dad."
She jumps into his arms.
"Daddy!"
"Hey princess." He mumbles.
I look at the clock. Almost 9? It feels so much later.
"Bed time, hun."
She nods and lays in her bed.
"Goodnight mommy and daddy."
"Goodnight." We say in unison.
I pull Dean into my room.
"She comes in here super early every morning. If you're not in here she'll know something's up. Just- don't touch me."
He nods, sadly.
He takes off his shirt and his jeans. I get into a tank top and some plaid shorts. We get into bed and as I'm falling asleep he puts his arm around my waist. I don't say anything and pretend I'm asleep, not wanting him to move it.
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I don't know how I feel about this chapter honestly. Please vote and let me know what you think. I may end this book soon but I'm not sure. Also, remember to Always Keep Fighting💗