Sometimes I think I am a lost soul. Old and lost. I always have thoughts. But I always get distracted by things. Because as much as am an old, lost soul. I want to be modern to but not in the mainstream just part of modern society. So ts hard to balance the two. At times like this I turn to the familer non-familer in this example and my only example I turn to humpty dumpty he reminds me of me. On the wall. Observing everything. He doesn't want to be on either side so he is on the wall. But when he falls over he dies and his egg body cracks and falls apart or something like that. The last bit is the bit I worry about the most. What is I can't handle being on one side only. I feel like if I go on the older side and I live in the time I want then I will still be a lost old soul who yearns to be born earlier and then it will keep on going on again and again like a paradox or something until I go all the way to the beginning of time. But if I stay modern then I will still have that feeling of going back to the olden side of me until I can take it no more and I either go to the old side and the paradox thing happens or I kill myself r something.
Either way its not that positive so I would prefer to stay on the edge of my seat. Waiting util my time comes and I die a sad and miserable old life.
