Trapped (English One Shot)

There was no hope for a hopeless creature like me.

Stupid tears, when would it stop to descend down from my cheeks? I hardly could see anything as I slowly wiped those tears but still my eyes we’re still blurry.  I cried like a ghost in the middle of the night, wishing for something impossible, but even the moon was no longer there to lighten my way.  Why did God let me live like this? Why was life so cruel when all I ever wanted was only acceptance?

Could anybody accept someone like me?

I profoundly heaved a sigh for I knew better. I sat alone and my heart throbbed even more as I began to watch the busy world beneath me. Here, everything seemed so serene, so soothing for a person who was being trapped in a world that only death could make me feel free. How could I let myself be trampled by humanity itself?

I shook my weary head gradually, not wanting to recall everything but my somnolent thoughts betrayed me again. How could I forget those vindictive people who’d hurt me?  Ever since when I was an innocent child, I was their laughingstock and instead of defending myself, I simply walked away with a smile on my pale face. I was just nothing to them. Nothing.

Until one day, he came unexpectedly, the man who turned my world upside down. I could still remember the night that we had first met. It was last year. I was walking down the crowded streets, feeling the cold December wind on my skin, and I was amazed by the beauty of Christmas lights like some colorful stars blinking all over the place.

“Watch out Miss,” Someone grabbed my hand as he tried to pull me over, away from the car that almost got me from behind. It was so fast that I knew it could kill me instantly if I wasn’t get out on time. My heart beat wild and I almost cried out of horror but I didn’t want them to see it.

I froze at the moment when I realized that a man was literally holding me. I pulled my hand away as his brown eyes met mine. He was so damn gorgeous in a way that I couldn’t explain.  “Are you okay, Miss?”

I tried to calm myself even if I know his intense gaze made me shiver, “I am. Thanks.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I could still see his sincerity and concern from his eyes and I didn’t want myself to be stupid again. Not this time.

“As you can see, I’m still breathing you know.”

I gave him a quick smirk and turned away, pretending that it never happened at all. He was like a perfect man and I owed him my life but it didn’t changed the fact that he was too good to be true for a person like me. It was better to wake up into a sad reality than to see myself dreaming again into a fantasy that would eventually hurt me in the end.

I came home early after that startling accident. There was nothing in this place but only loneliness. I lived here for almost five years. My own father hated me so much that he even despised me after he said that I was only a disgrace to the family. And my beloved mother died after a year for giving her too much problems and depressions. I was the very cause of her sudden death and because of that, my father never wanted to see me again. I thought love could accept every imperfections of a person but I was wrong. Instead of loving me, my father cursed me to hell.

I was completely alone but I tried to blink back my tears because I didn’t want anyone to see me vulnerable. I chose this diverse path and I would die fighting it. I went away and never would return from that cruel place anymore. I changed for the better. I made my life perfect but whatever I did, my efforts were never enough.

Thanks for the phone that was ringing not so far away from me; I came again in my senses. Closing my eyes, I let out a long, tired breathe before I walked towards the phone. I was little bit confused. Only my bestfriend knew my number and she was out of the country.  I picked it up and said, “Hello?”