"I love you." The words seemed foreign on my tongue. "I love you." I said again, louder this time. No response. What did I expect? Headstones can't talk. I was crying now. "I love you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry I left when you needed me most." I fell to my knees and sobbed. I must have been there for 10 minutes before I heard a voice behind me.
"I forgive you." I turned around and almost fainted. There she was. Just like I remembered her. She looked fine, I knew it couldn't be true.
"Sarah? How? You're dea.." I couldn't finish the sentence.
"I know Sam. I died. But now I'm back. I don't know why and I don't know for how long, but I need you to know that I forgive you and I don't blame you for anything." I stood slowly and stared at Sarah. Her once chocolate brown skin was now pale, her then silky brown hair now looked brittle to the touch.
"How much do you remember?" I asked trying not to run into her arms. Sarah looked at me then at the ground.
"Everything." Her words hit me like a load of bricks. I was sobbing again, not knowing what to say.
"I'm so sor..." She cuts me off.
"Stop!" she says louder than anticipated. "I did this to myself, it's not your and anyone's fault. I didn't want to hurt you I just couldn't handle it anymore."
"If I would have been there I could have done something, I could have stopped you. I should have stopped you. I knew you were struggling but we fought anyway. You were struggling and I left."
Sarah looked at me. I remembered the first time I saw her beautiful green eyes. We'd met at the local coffee shop that I work at. It was love at first site for me but I didn't think she even noticed me but I took a risk and wrote my number on her cup. She called me later that week, it was all uphill after that, until about two months ago.
I'd been in other relationships in my 23 years but she was different. She made me feel like so much more than I really was. When people gave us weird looks around town for holding hands she kissed me out of spite of them. She even made my family feel comfortable with our relationship, which has never happened before. She was amazing.
"Listen to me," Sarah walked forward and took my hands. Her hands were warmer than I'd expected. She looked me directly in the eyes. "I made my decision. I'm sorry it hurt you, but you're going to have to live with it my love." I had done my best not to look at her neck knowing that it was still there, but I couldn't help myself anymore. I looked down and regretted it instantly. A purplish bruise crawled almost all the way around her neck.
Sarah lifted my chin so we were eye level again. "Don't remember me like this. Don't remember me as an old girlfriend who killed herself. Please Sam, remember our good times and stop beating yourself up over this. Promise me." As soon as she stopped talking I pressed my lips to hers. Our last kiss. Our last embrace.
"I promise." We stood and held each other, not a thought in the world but each other.
"I have to go Sam." Sarah said starting to pull away from me. Panicking I did tried to pull her closer.
"Please Sarah, please don't leave me, don't leave me again." I couldn't tell if I was sobbing again or if I had never stopped.
"I'm sorry Sam, I have to leave. I don't know how but I can tell." I let her go, not knowing what I would do without her. "I love you Samantha, I always have and always will. Goodbye" Without another word she dissolved into smoke and was gone. Leaving me standing alone in the cemetery.
"I love you Sarah. Goodbye."
