back to your love; van mccann

silent as we drive, worn down, tongue tied

chapter 1

van

"van, for the last time, i was not flirting with him! stop being a jealous asshole for once!" she yells at me, making me irritated even though my heart feels otherwise.

"you were! stop fucking with me, charlotte. you've done it before and it pisses me the fuck off. you know that." i scoff, lighting up a cigarette as i continue to drive down the isolated road at 1 in the am.

"stop the car." she snaps, making me look at her in disbelief.

"are you bloody crazy?!"

"if you're just going to yell at me and accuse of me of things like always, i do not want to be trapped in a car with you." she says, looking at me like she's waiting for me to stop and unlock the car.

"it's 30 fucking degrees outside, you aren't going anywhere besides our place." i say, not making eye contact with her. (a/n: apparently there's a problem with the temperature ??? lol don't judge I don't live in the uk lol bye)

she doesn't bother to say anything else even as we reach our flat. she takes off once i park the car, opening the front door and slamming it shut before i can even step out into the freezing weather. i step on my cigarette once i've locked the car, sighing as i head into our home. once i have the front door locked charlotte's no where to be seen so i head to go find her in our room. she's stuffing clothes into a duffel bag once i step in and i immediately sigh, shaking my head.

"what are you doing, char?" i ask, leaning against the door frame.

"i'm leaving, what does it look like." she snaps, grabbing her coat from where she threw it on the bed, pulling it back on.

"you'll be back." i say, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

"fuck off." she says, not looking at me as she shoves by me and into the foyer so she can leave the apartment.

as soon as she slams the door shut, i take myself to the cupboards in the kitchen. i pull out a bottle of straight vodka, pouring it into one of the glasses that has yet to be put into the dishwasher. it takes everything in me not to just throw the glass against the wall and let it shatter after i down the liquid in one sip. i take out a cigarette once i've poured myself another glass, lighting it up but struggling because my hands are wavering from being so tense. charlotte's voice echoes in the back of my head because i know if she were here she'd be getting after me for smoking inside. i ignore that voice and continue to take in the toxins to my body.

"mate, what the bloody hell? why was char running through the lobby with a bag and barely would speak a word to me?" larry says, my best mate and neighbor stumbling into the kitchen, looking utterly confused.

"we got into a fight." i sigh, offering a drag to my mate but he just ignores it.

"again?! c'mon, van! the lads and i have told you that if you keep controlling her like this she was eventually going to leave." he says, rolling his eyes as he leans against the counter.

"she's left before, she'll be back before dawn." i grumble, ditching my glass and drinking straight out of the bottle.

"call her. i really think she's serious this time. she wouldn't even look at me!" larry says exasperated, glancing around as if he'll see my phone just laying around.

"i'm not calling her. she was the one that was fucking flirting with some tool again. right in front of me, too!" i say, moving my arm that's holding the vodka in the air to exaggerate my point, almost spilling some as larry flinches. i've thrown stuff before because of her and he's experienced it way more than he's needed to.

"fine, mate. but don't expect her to be back in the morning." i scoff, larry having to fight me as he grabs the bottle and downs it down the drain.

"what the fuck, man! that shit's expensive!" i yell, putting out my cigarette then putting it behind my ear.

"you have a tour coming up soon, i'm sure you'll get loads from that, van.. go to bed, you arse." he says, shaking his head as he walks out of the kitchen, hearing the front door slam shut like it did not too long ago by someone i may never see again.