Blackburn Forest

Chapter 1: Meeting by Chance

               I felt my phone vibrate on my face, jerking me from whatever dream I had been having. My friend was already awake and in the shower, so I was alone in my room. I sat up slightly and glared at my phone's screen. It was seven thirty in the morning and I sighed. A message from my boyfriend had been the cause of the disturbance. I expected it was his usual 'Good morning! I hope you have an amazing day.' I wiped some drool from my chin and reached for my glasses on the night stand. It was Monday morning, my friend had to go to school and my boyfriend had a convention to work at today. As the message came into focus, my stomach dropped and my breath hitched in my throat.

Fin, we need to talk, call me as soon as you wake.

I felt anxiety rush through my body and I sat up, typing out my response: What's the matter, babe? Are you okay? The message was read immediately and the chat bubble that indicated that he was typing popped up. I chewed my lip and tried to not to think of the worst that could happen. We had been together almost a year now, it's probably about his phone getting disconnected because of his mother.

I can't do this anymore. I just can't handle you, you're having too many panic attacks and it's starting to affect me. I can barely handle living without my parents and you constantly just needing so much attention. You know, I still love you and I always will. But I can't do this anymore, it feels like a lie. I've been thinking about this for such a long time and I even talked it over with my therapist; she agreed that it would probably be best for me to end our relationship. We can stay friends, okay?

I stared down at my phone, not sure how to react to this. The last few months, he had started texting weird and ignoring me when I told him that I was having a panic attack. I bit my lip as I felt my chest tighten up and tears welling up in my eyes. I lifted my finger to my mouth and bit it in an attempt to keep control of my emotions.

Just then I heard the bathroom door open as my friend walked into my room and saw me, she froze. "Ali? Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly.

I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes, "He's breaking up with me," I murmured as I dropped my head to my pillow, a sob shaking through my throat. Saying it felt like a knife in my stomach.

"THE HELL HE IS," She responded taking two steps to my side and taking my phone. She sat down on the side of my bed and I wrapped myself around her as I cried, shaking. She was softly repeating what she was typing. "Emerson, this is honestly the worst thing you could ever do to her at this point in time. What the fuck are you thinking?" I pressed my face against her thigh and tried to stop the sobs. "You know she's going through a hard fucking time right now, this isn't even making any sense. I've watched Ali go from crying and panicking to laughing and smiling thanks to you, you can't take that away from her right now." She continued to talk.

Now let me explain. I had known Emerson since elementary school before I moved away, we kept in touch and visited on occasion. When I moved yet again, but closer to where he lived (approximately three hours) he asked me out and we started dating the summer before I started college. I was about to start finals for the spring quarter of classes now. We had gotten to see each other twice between him working and my schooling. We messaged nearly every day that he could, he moved out of his parents' house in February as they were emotionally abusive to him. I supported him unconditionally and I was so proud; in return he had accepted my gender identity and my mental illnesses. But he wouldn't tell me when things were getting bad for him so this break up was inevitable. I think that I had known that subconsciously.