Seeking Hope [BoyxBoy]

Chapter {1}

 A/N:Hey! This is my first boyxboy so, please try and be nice..

For those who don't know what does it mean a boyxboy story well.. two (or more, why not?) boys are doing naughty together. If you don't like that kind of stuff,  leave this page! There are thousands of stories on wattpad,  I'm sure you'll find one for you .

Okay, you can read now!

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(Jayson's POV)

 I  closed my eyes.. A demon grabbed me with his cold hands, I could feel his breath on my neck. Those painful emotions aren't fading away.. Unable to quench this febrile nightmare, I could no longer hear your voice.

Moving my frozen lips, I pressed them slowly upon yours. The day when I first saw you is hidden somewhere in my memories. I wanted to see you.. This moment has left an eternal scar in my soul.

 I wrapped my arms around you. I wanted to smile, but I could feel the tears rolling down on my cheeks..

''Don't cry,'' you whispered but I could still feel you fading away, ''Please be strong for me..''

Trembling, you died in my arms..

Leaned against the cold wall, pale as snow.. hollow, I looked at the sky. It's raining..

''Why did the rain choose to fall all over me? Maybe I should lose myself in it..''

 ***

I woke up.

My heart was pounding very fast in my chest. I was sweaty all over and I had tears in the corner of my eyes..

Every night since my mother died, I had the same dream over and over again. With each passing night, it became more intense.. I think it's haunting me. I can't take this anymore.

In my dream, I don't know where I am, I just feel the sadness inside of me and the urge to lose myself. Even if it's two in the morning, I couldn't sleep..

''Jayson get your ass over here!'' My dad's voice came from the kitchen, full of hatred and contempt. I shivered at the sound of his voice. We are no longer a happy family. This has been going on and off for three years and it started when my mom died..

I got up from the bed, hurrying down the stairs. I didn't want to be no where near him, but if he comes after me it'll be much worse.. I knew from experience.

I entered the kitchen and saw my 'father' a few steps ahead of me. He had a beverage bottle in his hand and nearly swayed when he turned around to look at me. His facial expression send shivers up my spine.. He was drunk. He always is.

I approached him, but I didn't say anything. I was scared, terrified to share the same room with my dad. Because I was standing close enough, I noticed that he reeked of alcohol, which made me shiver even worse.

''TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE! '' he spat, grabbing my arm and shaking me violently.I could see his hate in his eyes, but now it was different. I saw that, this time..  he could beat be up to a bloody pulp.

Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes. I was fighting with all my strength to hold them back, to crush them inside of me..

''Dad, I am gay..'' I said, my voice lost in sobs. And that was it. He raised his fist and punched me. I fell on the floor. He began hitting me anywhere and everywhere. Each blow hurt more than the one before it. I started to cry..

''YOU'RE GAY?!'' he yelled between punches, but I couldn't do anything to stop this.

I closed my eyes, and tried to endure all the pain he was giving to me. I don't even know how many times he raised his fist at me.. a long time has passed and I couldn't wake up from this horrible nightmare.     

He kicked me in the ribs, the last kick, and walked away. I didn't have the strength to get up so I laid there and cried my eyes out..

I had no one. My father hated me, he blamed me for the death of my mom. I didn't have any friends at  school either.. I had a brother, Jace. He was the only one that was keeping me sane this whole time. He was always working.. He had to get a job, so we could have a roof upon our heads. I was always alone..  alone, with my dad. Sometimes I was wondering if Jace would support  me if by any chance he found out about my sexual orientation..

I didn't know how, but somehow, I found the strength to get up. Too tired of living, I headed to the only thing that could get rid of my all my pain. A knife, placed on the corner of the table, was the only thing who could give me peace, yes.. the peace I craved for so long.

I made up my mind rather quickly.

I took it and stabbed myself in the heart. A wave of pain came over me. Blood began to burst out from the cut.. I fell breathless on the floor.

But then, I started to feel it.. A numbness engulfed my body. It felt almost.. nice. I was tired. Tired of this f*cking life I had, tired of ignorance, sufferance, pain.. tired. That's how all my life was until now and always will be so, why bother?

I took my life at the age of sixteen.

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 A/N: I know it looks depressing and all but it gets better, I promise! :)

Anyway, this is the first chapter, I've tried my best to make it good.. Please comment, vote.. maybe FAN?! *puppy dog eyes* I don't even know.