Milk. Eggs. Bread. Ham. American cheese (which doesn't count as a food).
The shopping list rolls on. I get in my coffee stained car. The engine sputters as I turn the key. A sickening smoke. I sigh. The old car complains. I slowly slide out of the driveway, and into the morning sun.
Twenty three minutes later, I get to the supermarket. The sliding doors, the fifty five degreee air, the loudspeaker blaring. I stagger at the mounds of stinking food contained within the walls of this great capitalist complex.
Bananas. Lots of them. Spilling all over the floor. Slipping, tripping, damaging and wounding various appendiges. People laugh at me.I go to the dairy pile. A a few eggs are salvaged.
Suddenly, a large stream of cartons of milk, gallons of yogurt, some butter, and large quantities of other dairy products spilled out of the gaping maw of the pile.
I was drenched. A wrapper displaying a cow standing in a field floated down, and made its perch on my head. Other beings, stopped in their tracks by the mouned dairy, looked at me in my ridiculious hat and laughed.
My soul and legs were hurt as I retrieved my eggs from the splattered floor. A sticky goo was everywhere. I slowly wandered to the bread mound.
A bright flash caught my eye. Three quarters had fallen out of my pocket in the avalanche, and they glinted in the sun. I stooped on the floor to pick them up.
They were slimy to the touch and blisteringly cold. I sighed. My weight was hard to bear as I stood up to look out the window of the store.
My car was screeching out of the lot before I could shout. The man occupying my car was in a suit and his face was shaded. It looked like....... a huge dog.
Oh well, better go.
I walk home.
“Hi honey!”
“Hi.....”
“Well, you look wonderful!”
“It's a long story. I slipped and fell in the dairy pile, and a dog stole my car.”
There was a long silence
“May I have a word with you?”
