Sound of big splashes of waves. Smell of saltiness and scent of wild flowers. A cloudy sky. A beautiful, elegant-looking house near the ocean. Vast lands of yellow wild flowers behind it. And a blurred figure of a man. He was wearing a black suit. He looks attractive with his clothes. I believe he looks handsome even though I’ve never seen him clearly. This place looks really familiar. I believe I’ve been here a lot of times. Ah! I remember. I will always see these things in my dream. This would be the same dream every time I feel terribly sick, anxious and very tired. But, when did I sleep? If I could remember correctly, I am on my way home from a…I don’t remember? Did I fall asleep, but, when? I don’t even remember going back home.
“How long will you be here? This is not a place for you…not yet.” a voice said. In this dream, no one ever talked to me. I looked around and saw clearly the face of that man. The voice I heard was his I believe. He smiled and pointed his finger up the sky. The sky was so dazzling even though the weather is quite gloomy. It was so dazzling. I can’t even see anything properly. Then, suddenly, I saw a clear image of something really familiar.
Miss. Miss.
Please open your eyes! Wake up!
This was a voice of a man. I can hear the sirens of ambulances. I can see many people were gathered. I saw my Mitsubishi Pajero squeezed between a truck van and a delivery truck filled with tubo or sugarcane. I walked forward, nearer to the people gathered around. Then, there I saw myself. I saw my body, my face covered with blood, unconscious. The paramedic was trying to wake me up. But, my body…my eyes didn’t open.
At that time, I was so stunned. Why can I see myself? What happened to me? Am I dead? How? Why? These were questions running in my mind. My mind was in shambles. I calmed myself and concentrated to recall everything. But, I can’t. It was very difficult for me to remember what happened. While my mind was in chaos, I can see that the paramedics carried my body to the ambulance. My skin was so pale and there is still blood all over my face. Why? Am I dead? Why? I can’t. I can’t die. Huh? “I can’t die?” Why did I say such thing? When I uttered those words, I began to remember some memories. The first thing that came to my mind was that I have not yet done something. I believe I cannot die yet before I accomplish something. And this is to tell that friend of mine how much I love and care for him. If I die, he will never know how grateful I am that I’ve met him. Yes. This was my reason why I can’t die yet. Is it the only reason? Or is this only one of my reasons I can’t die yet? It’s frustrating I don’t remember everything.
I can see myself. I am destined to die at the moment. How can I tell him if I am already dead? I walked away from the accident scene. While walking away…the memories of my accident came to me, bit by bit.
I was driving my Mitsubishi Pajero on my way home from a construction site in Manila. I worked as an interior designer in a construction company in Angeles City, my hometown. Before I head home, my boss called and asked me to visit the company. After I visit my boss, a friend of mine called.
“Hello, Rai?”
“Yes?”
“Hey, don’t forget our reunion at 7pm today. Many of our friends will come. He said he will attend. We will see you later, right? It’s been 5 years since we last saw each other. Please come, okay?”
“Yes, I will. I was just so busy lately. But, will he really come?”
“Yup, see you, girl! Hey, wear something glamorous. Bye. Uh, wait I’ll send you his number. Bye-bye. See you later!”
She was giggling before I end the call. I was excited for the reunion because at last, after how many years I would see him.
He is a friend whom I’ve known since high school. We met when I joined a church organization. I was with him almost all the time. He was fun to be with and I learn many things from him because he is more knowledgeable than me. He was even my tutor in my Chemistry, Physics and Trigonometry then. When we graduated in high school, he said he has to study in Manila. I studied in a university in my hometown. We didn’t have much communication then because we were so busy shaping our chosen career.
