Keeping closer

Hold tight

Ai always tries his best. He tries his best at his homework, improving his swimming times, and being a good friend. No one ever gives him any credit for all his efforts even if they mostly go to waste. Every little piece of Ai is always itching for someone to notice and give him a compliment or praise him for the work he's accomplished. Just a simple 'good job' would suffice, but a certain someone just won't do it. Ai has always looked up to Rin, for many reasons. His swimming is what had caught Ai's attention but once they became roommates Ai could find more things to love about Rin. Some days Ai can be found standing by Rin and ready to give him a hand in any way possible in exchange for any approval. This was one of those days, Ai did every thing right, he helped in every way but was not pushy and forcing the help on Rin only there to offer it. Ai keep a smile up all day long hoping it might some how brighten Rin's sprits. Ai kept this smile despite really being mentally exhausted and stressed out by school work. At some point during the day Ai became irritated. Rin doesn't even realize how lucky he is. It's so rare to find someone willing to be completely selfless and kind 24/7. For god sake Ai treated him like a king and Rin could care less. These thoughts weighted heavy on his mind for the rest of the day til it came to an end. Ai was laying on the top bunk simply playing games on his phone. Below him was silents except for the sounds every now and then that would come out. Like an angry huff or a sad sigh. Ai sighed internally, guess that is my Que. He jumped down from his bunk and sat at the edge of Rin's bed.
"What's wrong, Rin-senpai?" Ai said smiling softly at the man.
"Nothing." Rin rolled his eyes at Ai when he saw the others dumb smile.
"It certainly doesn't seem like nothing." Ai this time forced a bigger and faker smile
"Well it is nothing." Rin didn't even bother to look at Ai knowing what expression he would have
"Is this about haru and the other boys?" Rin sighed heavily
"Drop it Nitori." Ah of course it was about them. It always was, Rin only ever cares about them. He didn't have an once of appreciation for Ai tho.
"So it is about them." Ai pushes farther, maybe he could get Rin to talk. Rin didn't know it but talking about it would make him feel a lot better and less conflicted.
"JUST DROP IT!" Rin sat up straight looking at Ai. He didn't feel bad about snapping at the boy who only ever wanted to help him.
"But senp-" Ai cut himself off. No, he's done with this bullshit.
"Fuck it, be sad and hold it in I don't give a shit anymore." Ai sighed dropping his fake smile face resting into a scowl that surprisingly looked natural on him. Ai got up and turned off the lights before crawling back into bed not uttering a word to Rin.
Rin was beyond shock, he never thought that Ai would say stuff like that, no, that's not it. He never thought Ai would give up on him. Rin has been a jerk this whole time, but why is Ai just now responding like this? After the shock passed Rins chest started to feel tight.
Does. Does this mean he lost Ai? Are they still friends? Were they ever really friends to begin with, it's not like Rin ever truly acknowledged Ai before. Shit.
Shit, Shit, Shit, SHIT! WHY? Why does Rin do this to everyone? Always pushing away people he cares for most. Rin doesn't want to be alone. He can't let this happen. Rin could feel tears stinging the edge of his eyes.
I can't let this happen Rin thought to himself as he let tears fall from his eyes as he held his blanket close to his chest. When is the last time Rin cried? He couldn't remmber.
"Ni-" no Rin and Ai are friends. At least Rin hopes they still are.
"Ai...are you awake." Rin was proud of the fact that he was able to maintain a normal voice even while crying. Ai was unable to sleep, he didn't feel bad but he didn't feel good either. Sometimes it was hard always being at Rins side, with fake smiles and not getting mad. Other ways it's so so easy, like caring. Ai always genuinely cared, he cared about Rin so much sometimes it hurt him. He just wanted Rin to show that he cared to. Just even a little sign.
"...yea" Ai replied, not sure why Rin was taking to him. His first though was that he was angry at his for snapping at him, but the softness in his voice suggested other wise. Plus he called him Ai. At that thought Ai's heart swelled a little in happiness. Tho the boy below him was anything but happy.
"Pleas-" his voice cracked and Rin covered his face with both hands, he didn't even know if he could muster up the rest of the sentence but he tried anyway
"Please, don't leave me Ai" Rin started to cry harder into his hands knowing he could no longer hold it in and trying to hide was useless.
"I don't want to be alone." Rin had not noticed Aiichirou climb down the ladder at lightning speed and sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him.
"Senpai.." He didn't get any response so he grabbed Rin's cold hands with his warm ones gentle and pulled them away from his face.
"Senpai look at me." Rin didn't oblige and started at the hands in his lap that where holding his. He sat up and was sitting criss cross apple sauce and Ai moved to sit on his knees in front of him. They sat there for a while until Rin was able to catch his breath and the sobs turned into weak cries just like at the start. After that happened Ai loved his hands which made Rin's heart speed up. Is he leaving me? Was Rin's first thought but before anymore could come to his mind he felt those soft hands go and grab hold of his face and then force him up to look at him.
"I'm not going anywhere, okay?" Rin searched Ai's eyes for a signal that he was lying but he couldn't find any. He sighed and leaned forward so his forehead rested against Ai's. His tears had slowly stopped.
Since when did he feel this close to Ai, sense when had he decided it would be ok to be this vulnerable with him. He would never show this side to Haru or anyone at Iwatobi or anyone that at all that wasn't Ai.
No one was Ai. Admittedly he had though of Ai in sexual ways before but this was completely different. The though of losing someone didn't make him cry, the thought of losing Ai made him cry.
"Ai..." Rin breathed out his name slowly. Aiichirou hummed in response but said nothing. He was to captivated by the thought of being this close to Rin, but also filled with so much concern for his senpai.
Rin's brain was only filled with thoughts of Ai and how much love and attraction he felt towards him.
"Thank you." Ai's eyes widened. He never though that Rin would actually acknowledged him. Rin couldn't fight his instincts anymore and leaned forward but didn't quite make contact. His lips brushed over Ai's and The feeling of Rin's hot breath against his lips sent shivers down Ai's spine and a blush to his face.
"I really want to kiss you." Ai whispered and Rin's heart beat speed up as Ai looked into his eyes with his own blue half lidded ones.
"What's stopping you?" Rin could feel his body fill with excitement in anticipation of what was to come. Slowly Ai pushed forward and there lips met causing them both to moan in contact. The kiss was soft and sweet and far from sexy but still perfect in every way for the moment. Ai snacked his arms around Rin's shoulder and deepened the kiss. They both leaned in desperate for more which resulted in them sitting up on their knees leaving no room between their bodies what so ever. Even so Rin put his arms around Ai's waist in an attempt to pull him even closer ignoring the fact that was impossible. Rin snuck his tongue into Ai's mouth causing Ai to let out a low purring like sound that Rin deemed one of the cutest and sexiest things he had ever heard. Ai's fingers went into Rin's soft locks of hair tugging on them every now and then which provoked grunts from Rin. Eventually they pulled away Rin nibbling on Ai's bottom lip in the process. They both would have loved to keep going, but it was very late and they were tired and they knew if they kept going it wouldn't be long before neither of them could hold back. They both were panting slightly and cheeks tinted pink with half lidded and glazed over eyes. Once they calmed down a small smile spread over Ai's face
"That was one hell of a thank" Rin smiled softly as well and chucked at Ai before taking both his hands and putting them on the Ai's cheeks and then kissing him on the forehead.
"You are the cutest." Rin chuckled out. Ai just crinkled up his nose in disgust but Rin only thought it made him look even cuter and chuckled wrapping both his arms around the teen and flopping back to pull the boy with him. They both giggled and rubbed noses, if someone had told Rin the night before that he would be doing this kinda cheesy ass things with aiichirou or anyone he probably would have laughed in there face, but yet here he was.
Ai and Rin cuddled into each other. It felt nice to be close to someone like this Rin thought. He hadn't been in a very long time. They both felt so warm and safe it didn't take long for them to start drifting off to sleep but before they did Rin spoke up
"I love you, Aiichirou" Ai tightend his arms around Rin and smiled so much he though his mouth might rip at the edges.
"I love you too, Senapi"