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"Wouldn't accept that I was never accepted. Shed so many tears like I fell In depression..
But if I changed, I wouldn't get called names, but it was all the same I was feeling rejected.
Putting someone down is a low blow..
What goes around comes around like a yoyo
Wish that I could stop time like a photo
But we Stand Strong, bounce back like a pogo.."
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-Zayn talks about the day of summertime ball. He was really happy to have his entire family there but as the day went on he started getting more and more anxious and upset. He was afraid people wouldn't like him, he knew people were there to see other people and didn't want them to be like 'oh well who the fuck is this clown?' He was paralyzed with fear and his anxiety just consumed him. His team wanted him to put out a statement saying he was sick but he wanted to finally be open about his anxiety and tell the truth.

- he wants to become a better performer and he's working on a anxiety every day. He's a perfectionist and he wants people to genuinely believe he's doing a good job.

-he avoids social media because people are very cruel and he's afraid of saying the wrong thing and having his words turned against him. He does spend a lot of time on social media and appreciates all the nice things people say or send him.

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I really wish zayn would spend a day each month with a fan so he can see things from our perspective. I love and respect him and god knows how much love I have for this man. Although I don't know him, I pray one day I will. Hopefully one day I can learn to know him personally.

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