I'm about to say something I haven't been able to say since I was but a child. I have a best friend. As weird as it is to say that it feels exhilarating! It feel right. I've always had friends as I am well known amongst the rowdy school crowd yet as I am accepted into the lives of many ever so kindly I have always felt somewhat out of place, never truly at one with those I choose to surround myself with. The people that I consider myself to be friends with range from many different stereotypes: from goths and emos to punk and rockers, from sweet and gentle to twisted and blinded by their own dark humor, to smart and greatly intelligent to those who struggle to concentrate and learn (quite like myself), from out casts to the out going and eccentric folk. I suppose I am able to be friends with so many kinds of brilliant people because I too am like each one of these personalities. Yet with all of these people who are so caring to me and I them, I often wonder why I feel I am lacking in something. Like a missing puzzle piece to the puzzle I don't even know I'm piecing together. That was until I met her.
What does it mean to be 'friends' with someone? A friend is someone you enjoy spending time with, a person who makes you happy when sad, calm when distressed. I have that in many shapes and sizes of beings yet I question why I don't feel complete. The realisation that I dont have someone to go to when I need them came first. The the lack of complete trust and confidence. Then the stability of a long lasting friendship. To be able to completely surrender myself and feel safe. There were more but I won't be a bore. I didn't have that... until I met her.
I always knew who she was, we'd never exchange words yet I always had a feeling she was a good one. And boy was I right. I knew she was a one who had a fancy for having her nose in a book. I knew she was one for absorbing knowledge and having the intelligence of a wise and wisdom filled elder. I suppose that was one of the reasons I stayed away for I do not read often and I struggle to absorb and retain the knowledge necessary to pass any form of exam. Maybe I am being too harsh on myself but I thought to myself "why would someone like her be acquaintances let alone friends with someone like me?" So I stayed away. Until I didn't. I won't exhaust you with how we started talking but I will tell you this, best decision of my life so far.
She has short brown hair and an fringe tickling the tops of her eyebrows that settles above those beautiful, trancing eyes. A smile that presents itself as shy yet intriguing and when in a fully blown grin can be highly contagious. Her complexion suits yellows and purples and greens. She is kind and caring and smart and childish and mature. She's amazing. Truly amazing. Everytime she tells me something new about her or what shes doing she astonishes me with how fascinating she is. She treats me well and I only hope I treat her like she does me.
I dont trust easily, though their are still things I am yet to tell her I trust her. I trust her with my secrets and thoughts. I trust her with my feelings and emotional baggage (believe me its some heavy baggage) I trust her with me. Though I struggle opening up it's not because I feel I can't but because I feel I can't even open up to myself half of the time. Though I trust her I don't trust me. That's a story for another day though.
She believes in me, she encourages me when I feel like I am sinking with no way to float back up to the harsh surface. She is my life raft waiting to take me to shore. She is the missing piece to the puzzle which I discovered is the puzzle of life because that's what life is. It's a puzzle full of missing pieces which you find along the way while you live it, life. She is the sun to my moon. The happy to my sad. The intelligence to my smart. She and I balance eachother perfectly like six and two threes.
She must be wondering why it took me so long to write this and I suppose it's only fair for an answer to her long awaited question. I didn't know how to put into words my gratitude for her and our friendship until now; Thankyou for being kind to me, thankyou for believing in me and most importantly, thankyou for being here for me when I need you. I've never for as long as I can remember had someone there for me. Thankyou and I hope our friendship remains fruitful and fantastic forever!
I must give credit where credit is due...she drew the picture ;)
