"I sit at this computer....writing both my confession to one of my greatest sins and my prayer for forgiveness for the one I am about to commit."
He paused then staring at the blinking cursor at the end of the first line on the screen, wondering how he should continue or if he should even finish after all, after all if and when Nigel discovered that he had told others about that night so many years ago.....
Luke then glanced at the small revolver that lay on the table next to him and chuckled slightly at his last thought, what did it matter what Nigel thought? After all he would be dead in a few minutes. He slowly took a deep breath to calm his trembling fingers to make it easier to type the message and began to write the rest of his final words.
"I sit in front of this computer about to take my own life.... life.... can what I've lived this last forty six years even be called that? No, I don't suppose it can, I have not lived a life I have been nothing more then a slave to others and a fun pawn for the cruelty of fate, fate which has intervened into my life and taken away the most basic of decision's from me and things I've cared for, fate took away my ability to decide my own future and my life when it intervened into my life when I was nineteen by making it seem as if I had committed that robbery, sending me to prison causing me to be disowned and forgotten by me family leaving me to fend for my own when I was released, living on the streets with no money because nobody wanted to hire a criminal....but that is not why I am writing this, this is not some final proclamation of innocence for a crime that happened so long ago no this is a message so people may know the truth about the night of December the eighth 2345, sixteen years ago. Let me explain why I elaborated on the robbery, my false imprisonment when I was nineteen for that crime caused me to come into contact with....unsavory people. I shall not go into details about the many terrible things I did for them instead I shall only state that those people eventually led me into contact with Nigel S. Doran, the right hand man of King Nichols. That was when I was thirty, and ever since then I have spent the last sixteen years doing unspeakable horrors for the man who I can honestly say is the devil in flesh. I did many terrible things for him....but out of all of these actions one still weighs very heavily on my conscience. Besides Nigel I am the only one left that knows the truth about the night in question, the others have been dead for years now but unlike them I don't intend to take the truth to my grave I wish to die with some small reassurance that justice will be enacted upon Nigel for the injustice to those children and what happened to the innocent lives of the unfortunate bystanders...."
Luke then began to slowly write out the tale, finally able to tell the secret that he had been keeping for so long every single horrific detail and when he was finished he began to write the final lines of the note, aware that every key he hit every letter, word, sentence he finished brought him closer and closer to his own death.
"Nigel is unaware that I allowed them to live, I ask you whoever is reading this as a final request to find them and let the world know the truth, I wish I could assist you in this matter but their location at this moment I cannot tell you as I am afraid that I do not know the last time I saw them they were barely three months old, the less contact I had with them the better. I wish I could be more help, but I cannot I am sorry"
Luke stopped then, and reached for the gun, but suddenly stopped and turned back to the computer realizing that the few people that would miss him deserved an explanation for what he was about to do.
"As for why I am about to take my own life it is not because the guilt has become unbearable or due to depression, it is because for once I intend to take fate's power in my life away from it. I am terminally ill, and shall be dead in a few months anyways. Fate has taken away many things from me; it hasn't allowed me to control anything but I refuse to let it control my own death as well. The hour, place, and way in which I die will be my decision and mine alone. Fate would have me in a hospital connected to machines in my final hours, I intend my final hours to be much different. Goodbye."
With that final sentence, Luke stood and lifted the gun from the table, walked into the next room and turned off the gun's safety, slowly lifting it to his head resting the barrel on his right temple. Luke placed his trembling finger on the trigger, took a long slow deep breath, savoring it has his last....then pulled the small trigger not even hearing the resulting echo of the shot against the walls, dead before his body even hit the ground and yet satisfied knowing that in the end he had taken fate's control over his life away from it.
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Well that was the first part! I have major writer's block with the Vivienne Bedingfield book so I decided to take a break from that and write something else for fun to get those ol juices flowing again. Tell me what you thought the second part shall be up as soon as I can write it and post it!!
Thanks for reading, comment and vote!
Xoxoxo
Skullqueen15!
