KEEPING UP WITH NCT ─ CHATROOM

Jisung's Journal Entries

"Jisung I want you to write in this whenever you feel like you can't express your emotions, okay?"

Jisung looked up from his lap to Kun. He held out his hand, a brown journal and pen in his hand.

Jisung slowly took the journal into his own hands and gave a small somewhat genuine smile. "Thank you Kun. I'll write to you.."

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Dear Kun,

Today marks the third day of Taeil and Hansol's breakup. I see how happy Hansol is when he's near Yuta. I wish he looked at Taeil like that. I spend more time with Taeil now. He needs me more than I need him. I know he's faking his smiles for me. Why did Yuta have to ruin my parents?

- Jisung

Dear Kun,

Today I seen Taeil break down. I didn't mean to walk in on him but I wanted to watch a movie with him. He was crying so hard his breaths were coming out ragged. I broke down too and cried with him. I wish Hansol was there to hold the both of us but he was busy trying to win Yuta over.

- Jisung

Dear Kun,

I don't like the way Yuta talks to me. He's really mean. He makes me feel like a worthless child. I don't think he loves Hansol either. At least not as much as Taeil does. Was I the reason for Hansol no longer wanting to be with Taeil? Does he think of me as a worthless child too?

- Jisung

Dear Kun,

I feel terrible. The world seems darker and colder. I feel like I don't contribute to this family. I know everyone talks about me behind my back. Maybe I should just leave and go back home. To my real parents. They don't judge and think I'm worthless like Yuta does.

- Jisung

Dear Kun,

Hansol told me I wasn't worthless and not to listen to Yuta. He bought me ice cream and we talked about things I liked. I brought up Taeil and he got angry at me. I guess he truly doesn't love him anymore. I guess it's time for me to stop trying. Like Hansol said, they aren't my real parents anyways.

- Jisung

Dear Kun,

I'm jealous of Chenle and Renjun. You and WinWin are great parents to them. They tell me about all the stuff you do with them. It brings back memories of Hansol, Taeil and I. Can you be my parents too? I'm sorry for writing that. I love Taeil as my mom. He really makes me feel loved. I don't need Hansol as a dad anymore. Taeil can be my mom and dad. That's possible right?

- Jisung

Dear Kun,

I realized I was being mean in the last journal entry. Hansol is a good dad to me. Today at the mall Hansol hugged Taeil and I just like old times. Maybe things will work out in the end. I shouldn't be depressed anymore. Thank you Kun for helping me. I'm slowly getting better because of you.

- Jisung