Christmas Heartache (Celebration Series 1)

Chapter Sixteen- The Question

The sound of distant christmas music woke me gently, and I stretched. As the memory of last night settled around me I had a myriad of feelings but strongest amongst them was a massive,YES! I grinned widely as I cuddled on my side and curled into a fierce ball. Dave wasn't around but I grabbed several pillows off the floor and shamelessly sat up in this glorious bed and looked out at the view.

Wow, the sun glistened on the distant waves and shone in through the sliding door that was partly open, being able to enjoy this from bed, how did Dave ever get up?

Enjoy the moment. For something like this to happen to me, so long dreamed about, I was determined not to ruin this morning with recriminations. The sexy glow that Dave had created in me was still very much with me.

Thinking Dave might be just out in the large upstairs room just through the door I decided to call out, "Morning Dave, you out there? " I couldn't keep the self satisfied smile out of my voice.

There was a rumbling tickling feeling in my chest, that must be the excitement of having been with Dave like that. I did find that I hadn't fully accepted the truth of his whispered words, wondering how effected he was by having had a few drinks.

He had said something about, moving in? No! That must be the drink. But I couldn't help a tingle running through me at the thought. Tom and Jessie would love this. I knew they already respected Dave, and I knew I deeply trusted him to tread very carefully where they are concerned. This house would be amazing and there was plenty of room.

Then it hit me again. He had thought of me, like that over two years ago! I giggled, just not quite believing yet that it was true. But he had remembered the dress.

I did too. It came just above the knee, plunging neckline, a happy yellow. I had got it at a second hand shop, hoping, as always with anything I got, that Cam would notice me as a woman, admiringly, outside the bedroom. It had hugged my bust, giving a very flattering support and shape and with just thin shoulder straps, it didn't leave much to the imagination. Cam had barely looked twice, and had only barked, 'Where did that come from? How much?'

Remebering those words and how it cut me every time, took some of the joy out of my heart. He had a way of making me feel less than a woman and untrustworthy with our meagre finances, all in a few cryptic words.

I was distracted by hearing Dave at the door, he smiled at me, "You called mi'lady?"

I guess I did look a bit like royalty sitting up here. What do you say to a guy after he had been so, so intimate with you? Thank you didn't seem to cut it.

"I am so comfortable. This is the most incredible bed I've ever slept in. That view..." smiling happily I waved my hand at the view through the sliding door. "How do you ever get up?"

He came closer putting a mug on the bedside table, "For you. Coffee. Milk one sugar?" Wow, he remembered. He carried on, collapsing on the bed and coming close enough to share the stack of pillows I was on, as I sipped my coffee. "Do you remember nothing I told you last night? I have considerable incentive to go to work in the morning. " He smiled at me, full of appreciation, my stomach flipped. Would I always react this way? or would I become immune to him? It didn't appear that I would. Everytime I saw him I just wanted into climb into him.

He looked so good this morning, clearly he'd showered, his hair a little damp, he had on a light weight wide neck tee, with boxers. "Thank you for last night, letting me touch you. I have wanted to do that for so long, " he shrugged. " Just thanks I guess." I blushed at his honesty.

His hand slipped under the blankets pushing them back so he could slip his body under next to mine. He looked at me uncertainly, wondering if I'd stop him. But I felt relaxed and happy. Happier than I'd been in so long.

I smiled openly at him as his hands started running up and down my sides slowly tracing my body. "Lets have a look at this in day light shall we?" He pulled back the blankets and then moved to straddle me. my black lace teddy was form fitting, very sexy thin straps and plunging neckline. I was grateful that the stretch marks on my tummy weren't visible, and I felt oddly composed.

He feasted his eyes and groaned as my hands moved involuntarily to scoop my breasts back into the bra of the teddy, when I heard the groan and looked down to the growing evidence of his arousal I left my hands there. Biting my bottom lip uncertainly, I pushed up gently creating an even more impressive cleavage. He was clearly trying to restrain himself, with his hands balanced on each of his strong thighs with a slight buck of his hips. His response gave me confidence, so with flattened hands I started circling myself and I couldn't help writhing slightly between his legs.

After a few moments, as if he couldn't take it anymore he sank down so that his delicious weight was on my pelvis so I had something to push into. He reached out, pushing my hands aside and moving the straps down, pulled the bra down under my bust leaving me exposed.

Looking at me as he rolled each of my peaks gently he dropped a kiss to each of my eyes, down my cheek until I could feel him licking me, then sucking gentle at the skin with a gentle nip he let go.

This was unhurried and relaxed. We both seemed remarkably comfortable with one another. He smiled at me making me squirm "I could get used to seeing you like this in my bed each morning. Do you think I can persaude you to think about it? moving in?" He still held the weight of each of my breasts and was stroking and occasionally knocking against my peaks.

Not wanting all the considerations and the weight of that decision to settle on me and break the mood, I nodded and smiled. This life?with him? could be what I was meant for, maybe it wasn't me that damaged my marriage, but just the combination of Cam and I?

Dave rolled off me and stood by the bed. I could tell we weren't done just by the hungry way he continued to take in my body. I groaned. Aching for him to come back to take me, the thought had me squirming down on the pillows. I lay on my side watching him take off his shirt and boxers.

I had only ever seen Cam aroused with fleeting glances and he had never stood before me. He had been able to take me, but I couldn't help my gasp as I saw Dave. His shaft stood out firmly ready to be relieved.

He passed me protection and came and stood by me. I swung my legs off the bed and he was erect right at eye level.

I had a rush of caution and uncertainty. "Susie," Dave groaned, "touch me, I need you too."

I fumbled a bit at first, but with Dave guiding me, it went on. He took my shoulders I reached behind and pulled on his buttocks and I pushed him deep into my mouth. As I pulled back I looked into his eyes, he groaned, "Take me again."

I had never done this before, Cam was more conservative than me when it came to expressing himself sexually and he would never admit that anything I did caused him to become aroused.

Trying to block out fifteen years of being with my only other sexual partner was not easy. The size of Dave amazed me. He seemed to enjoy watching my mouth take more of him, I tightened my lips. Although I could feel the stretch as my lips struggled to stay open wide enough to hold him.

I came away, backing slowly up the bed, keeping my legs bent and wide, as an invitation. I stopped in the middle of the bed. He crawled up me. I had never had sex in daylight before, so I marvelled af the sight of how aroused he was. I so needed that.

While I had distracted myself Dave had unhooked me and was starting to push the teddy up for me to take it off. I stilled his hand and turned away, completely embarrassed at exposing my stomach.

He growled, "You are beautiful come on babe, I am so liking being able to watch you enjoy my body, please let me do the same."

How could I argue with that. Even the reverent way he undressed me was almost enough to finish me.

Tossing it aside he groaned running his hands down and then slowly up my body, nudging at my piercing. "Do you want to do this? " Biting my lip I nodded. I knew this with a certainty, I needed him now, in me.

He leant down and kissed me as he slid between my legs and pushed fractionally into me. Stroking me and laying kisses all over I became aware of a building pressure I lifted my hips wanting him all, Dave snagged my lip between his teeth making my eyes fly open to look at him. "Patience, you need to be ready, " he said, "I don't want to hurt you. "

I frowned. What? It is pretty obvious I am not a virgin, I just wanted him. Although the thought had crossed my mind that I was pleased I wasn't a virgin, with the size of him I didn't know if I could have taken all of him. He continued to build the pressure in me, I knew I was close and he nudged in further.

How was this satisfying for him? It can't be, I moaned and tossed my head in frustration. "Dave! Please."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "What do you want Susie?"

"Now please. Harder, all in." That was all he needed to press into me. My legs locked around his as we held each other, "You feel the stretch baby?" He groaned in the back of his throat and buried his face in my neck, clearly feeling as overwhelmed in that moment as I was. "You are so tight. This amazing, you've know idea how good that feels. "

Then he started his own rhythm, pushing harder into the end of me, the pleasure and pain of it had me rising to met his every thrust, I had only one thought, he filled my world and I didn't think I could go back to day dreams now.

We both broke quicker than I thought and stayed still, without saying a word for sometime. After the immediate effects started to clear the fog from my mind. I knew I had to open myself and me vulnerable like he had to me.

His thumb started slow circles on my side. I smiled, stilling his hand, "Keep that up and I won't be responsible for what I do to you. " The false menace in my voice didn't work because Dave just laughed.

"Ah, so you're ticklish?"He rolled onto his back taking me with him. "So did the large hand theory work out for you? " He was grinning at my embarrassment. I rested my chin on his chest looking into his gorgeous eyes. "You took my breath away, wow. I didn't know if I could manage you but I think you knew that. It was amazing. " I looked away so I didn't have to see the self satisfied look on his face.

Thinking I heard him mutter "Aim to please. " I rolled my eyes.

Gently stroking the ink that completely blacked out his shoulder then the design came through in the skin that wasn't inked. A swirling koru design.

"I need to tell you something," I bit my lip. "It may change how you think of me, but I need to be honest, if this is the start of...of something."

Dave clearly looked worried. "When I couldn't make it, in bed,..." I knew I was being euphemistic, but I really hoped he could follow, because I didn't know if I could do this other wise. I decided to start over.

"When Can died I had a lot on and I found a degree of escapism in imagining scenes in my mind. They were usually, " could I say it? "Usually intimate and involved imagining how it would be with someone. But the worst of it was I feel as if I was unfaithful to Cam because, " I sat up, pulling the sheet to my chest and looked out the window, my voice dropped, "It started before he died, when he finished, and I hadn't. I imagined what this other person would say to me, and I found it was so sexy that I climaxed. Then it became coping after he died. Anytime of the day or night until I had no control over when I slipped away. "

There was silence in the room as Dave processed this. "Susie, its ok." There was a knot in my stomach as I didn't know what his reaction would be. "Susie, .... Is it still happening?" I could tell he was concerned for me. I shook my head, "Hardly at all this year. It is better. Since you, you kissed me. It has pretty much stopped. That is not the worst thing. I have been feeling strongly attracted to someone, I think I might even love them. But for so long I didn't think they knew I existed." Dave had got up off the bed and busied himself grabbing his shorts and t shirt. He ran his hand through his hair, "Well?" he demanded, "Are you going to put me out of my misery? Who is it you think you're in love with? "

"You," I whispered.

He gasped, "No way. All this time, you wanted me? I featured in your fantasies?" He laughed and came over jumping on the bed, "Hell, I am not a saint. You have featured in a fantasy or two of mine."

I was waiting for him to realise all of what I had confessed, and be put off.

He grabbed me and rolled me over laughing. "You mean to say that for the past two years we've been in a kind of relationship? But the other didn't know? Come in Susie that's amazing, if that's not meant to be, wow."

He cupped my face and said, "Move in with me so I can wake with you everyday, say yes. Oh and babe? I think I love you too. " His lips crashed into mine and any attempt to think coherently was obliterated as the world stopped as if nothing existed outside of us.



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'''M''''E'''''R''''R'''''Y..... Christmas. ..!!@$#'@

what do you think? ..

what should Susie's answer be?.... Where to ah?

Too much detail?...comments / thoughts please.

big thanks to @Carla_Meyer for the book cover...

Do you like it? ?

comments. ....?

Thanks so much for sharing my Christmas journey.

4 more sleeps! !!

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