A Teen's Diary

Soulmate is that you?

We were too close more than I could imagine.

Day 1

After a very long thoughtful moment i decided to tell her that I don't need that one special person in my life, I thought she would step forward and try to be closer to me, but I guess the opposite is what happened, I've always been the "third Bestfriend" for her more like the backup friend, while she has always been my lifesaver and my "soulmate", but she still denies it.

There are some serious barriers in our friendship that she doesn't want to break down and besides all that I'm not on her "People I Can't Live Without list", I thought that I don't mind until I found myself hiding my feelings and emotions to not get hurt and trying to ease the pain by mentioning her on my diary only.

should I back away? maybe it's the right time

I've never thought that I would get emotionally attached to someone...

Is it Love? Or Attachment?
Love isn't real, so it's probably attachment , maybe I don't want to accept the idea of me being alone, or maybe I prefer being the backup friend than being alone.

Day 2

We haven't talked in a 28days while now.

Counting the days, crying every single night and patiently waiting for her to ring me but it seems like it's not worth the effort for someone who hasn't even notice that I no longer exist in their life.

At last I lost my patience and gradually losing my will

Was it that easy to find someone that she could replace me with?

I know that she doesn't need me anymore she has found her "person", someone whom she really loves and cares about, someone she has known from a couple of years...
is it because we don't know eachother for long? or maybe because she's the kind of person who doesn't trust easily, now I'm wondering how come I don't know my "Soulmate" well.

"A soulmate is someone you have a very deep connection with. It is not always explained. It is a meeting of mind, heart, body and soul on the highest of levels"
It's simply like magic or what we see in movies, because people nowadays lack such a character, and if I still can't find such character in my own bestfriend, then where else could I find it? I don't think it's possible to speak about something you don't believe in, I could just simply sit and pour my thoughts here all day and express my feelings.

I guess nobody really deserves to be called the perfect "soulmate".
For us,  once we pour our souls into others and give them the chance to destroy us, yet we trust them to not, doesn't make us weak but HONEST with our feelings and we are the type of people who love hard, harder than ever.