back to your love; van mccann

i can't get it right

chapter 2

van

it's been 2 days and charlotte hasn't come back yet. i tried to come up with reasons as to why she wouldn't be here besides the obvious, but couldn't come up with any. i would say she got held up at her parents, but they live back in the states. she won't answer any of my calls and i'm surprised she hasn't blocked me by now. my phone dings from the kitchen and i immediately throw myself over the couch, stumbling over to my phone that sits at the counter charging.

bondy: lad, yous up to go out tonight?

my heart sinks a little as i see it's just bondy and not charlotte. making my way back to the couch, i throw myself down on it in nothing but my boxers.

van: sure mate, when and where

after he responds, i go back to cocooning myself under the blankets i've brought out into the living room. i've basically camped out in the living room so in case she comes back any time soon, she sees me immediately.

we've had worse fights than this and she always has come back. why won't she come back to me?

-

"mate, where's charlotte?" bondy asks as i step into his flat, the others sprawled out throughout the living room.

"yeah, mccann. you two are usually latched onto each other." benji says, not expecting me to flat out ignore him.

i head straight for where i know bondy keeps his liquor stocked, taking out a bottle of scotch and pouring some into a glass. after i've drank it all, i notice it's suddenly quiet so i set my glass down, looking around at everyone.

"what you looking at, lads? can't i have a bloody fucking drink without being stared at." I mumble, pouring myself some more.

"we're about to go to bars and get drunk.." bob mutters, wondering if he should say anything.

"yeah, and? larry poured all my fuckin' vodka down the drain so..." i laugh drunkenly, glancing over at larry as he raises his hands in surrender.

it's quiet as i continue to chuckle quietly, taking a seat on the couch on the opposite side of bondy. i take out a cigarette and light it, before taking a sip of the ice less scotch. i sigh at the silence, rolling my eyes as i feel everyone's eyes on me once again.

"larry, you seriously didn't tell them already?" I laugh, shaking my head.

"tell us what?" bondy asks, making me glance at him before crossing my feet on top of the coffee table.

"charlotte left me. for real this time. she hasn't come back in 2 days." i say, staring at my cigarette, not wanting to look anyone in the eye right now as there continues to be more silence.

they don't say anything and it makes me want to throw up. i finish the rest of my drink and put out my cigarette, placing it behind my ear before getting up. when they continue to stare at me, i turn around and raise my eyebrows.

"come on, guys. let's go get wasted." i say, making them all get up, acting like nothing happened.

-

"fucking hell, i feel sick." i mutter to larry, having to stable myself as i hold on to the bar.

"van, yous just finished your fourth beer of the night and we just got here, no shit." he laughs, patting me on the back.

"God, i miss her." i whisper, but he still hears me over the loud music.

"i know, man. but she'll call you soon, i know she will. the two of you can't stay away from each other."

"i know, but it's almost been three days, larry. she's never been gone this long." i groan, accepting the beer i ordered from the bartender.

"was the fight seriously that bad?!" he asks, taking a sip from his second beer.

"no, not at all. i guess she was sick of me being jealous and overprotective all of the time.. but isn't that my job as a boyfriend? i don't want some other douchebags even thinking they can have a chance with her." i say, starting to get angry as i picture her flirting with those guys.

"yeah, but she has you. she isn't going to leave you for some random's she met in a bar." he says, glancing behind me for a second. "oh shit."

"what?" i slur, turning around quickly, feeling lightheaded for a second before my eyes focus on what he was looking at. there charlotte is, talking with her friends at the other side of the bar.

"van, don't-" larry starts, but before he continues i'm off like a light, stumbling over to her.

"char.." i breathe out, her eyes widening as she sees me.

"van?" she gasps, her eyes widening before she excuses herself from her friends, taking my arm and pulling me to somewhere quieter.

"baby, i've missed you so much." i say drunkenly, cupping her face but she flinches and gently pulls my arms down, causing my heart to sink.

"stop, okay? van, we need some time away from each other and you need to understand that." she says, looking me in the eye so i know she's serious. 

"what? n-no, please baby. whatever i said, i didn't mean it." i plead, shaking my head as she looks away from me.

"look, you're drunk. so you're probably not going to understand as well as you should. i've gotta get back to my friends." she says, trying to get around me but i stop her.

"no, charlotte! stop!" i yell, somehow getting the attention of the lads even though it's loud in the bar. they must've followed.

bob grabs my arms, keeping me from getting to her as she walks away. i thrash in his arms, yelling at her to come back but bob doesn't let up. he eventually pulls me out of the place, the lads following behind and when he lets go i shove him away.

"van, where are you going?!" benji yells but i wave him off as i continue to stumble down the sidewalk, getting far away from them as possible.

being way beyond pissed, i have exactly no idea where i am going. all i remember before passing out is walking into a diner, sitting down at at booth, and laying my head down on the table.