Firecracker

Chapter 1

Flight 103 to Heathrow airport is boarding now, flight 103

I groaned internally and began wearily making my way to the boarding gate, dragging my heavy suitcase behind me. It was 3 am in the morning and the airport was near to empty besides a young woman trying to hush her moaning children , a look of despair evident on her face and an elderly man trying to disguise his sleepy state by holding a newspaper over his head. I handed the receptionist my boarding pass and passport and observed the people around me bidding farewell to their loved ones. I watched as one girl sobbed on her mothers shoulder and remembered the screaming match I had with my own mother this morning which lead to me packing my suitcases in fury and booking a ticket for the next flight home. I was snapped out of my thoughts when the receptionist handed me my passports and cheerily wished me a safe and happy flight. How  someone can be so happy at 3am in the morning is beyond me but this woman's peppiness was already giving me a headache. I boarded the plane and found my seat before making myself comfortable. I looked at myself through the selfie camera on my phone. My hair was thrown in a messy bun, my mascara was smeared all over my eyes.
I was finally going home to England after spending a year in New York with my mother and her new fiancé. After I graduated from school I decided to spent some time in the U.S in hopes of reconnecting with my mom. She moved here 4 years ago after she divorced my dad, here she met my soon to be stepfather and I can tell you one thing..she is definately not the mother I remember from my childhood. She's all caught up in her American lifestyle here and I knew she had forgotten about our cosy England home the minute she opened her mouth and her American accent spilled out from her cherry red lips. I tried my hardest to get through to the mom I remembered but she just wasn't there anymore, after the divorce she blocked everyone out and when she met Steve (her completely and utterly American boyfriend) she seemed to have started her life over again. It made me so mad how she thought I could just forget the past and start over like her and I guess his morning I just snapped. I let all my thoughts out, I screamed and I cried and she stood there emotionless before yelling at me to get out of her house. So here I am, on a plane destined for England. Part of me was excited to be heading home and part of me was anxious about seeing everyone again. As I stared out of the plane window at the clouds below me I remembered the day I left..

'Promise me you'll come back when the year is up' my best friend Rye had said to me
'Of course I will Rye, I'd miss you too much' I said as ugly sobs escaped my mouth.
'Stay out of trouble babe, I can't have you getting into all kinds of mischief when I'm not around to stop you' he laughed half heartedly. I giggled at his sentance and remembered the many times rye had been there to keep me out of trouble. I was always a bit of a troublemaker, I was known as the school rebel and I guess it was no surprise when on the first day of school Rye nicknamed me 'firecracker' after I snapped at my teacher when she told me to stop talking.
'I love you Skylar' he whispered
'I love you too Rye,but dont worry, I'll be back before you know it and we can still text and FaceTime and call eachother' I said. It was weird seeing Rye without a cheeky smile on his face, he was always goofing around and making people laugh and shouting at the top of his lungs , seeing him sad and knowing that I was the reason for it broke my heart but he understood how much I needed to go and how much I had to see my mother again. We parted ways and I got on the plane. Needless to say I cried myself to sleep on the flight.

We had promised to stay in contact, and we did...for about 3 weeks then things started slowing down. And it went from constant messaging to maybe 1 text a day until eventually he just stopped replying. I got tired of having 1 sided conversations and eventually I just gave up and came to terms with the fact that he probably forgot about me. After all he was part of a new boy band now. And even tho we don't talk anymore I won't deny the fact that I still watch all of his covers and I've never been prouder of him. But my heart still hurts every time I see his face because I realise how easy it was for him to forget about me, did all those years together mean nothing to him like they did to me? I wonder does he still think about me, like I think about him. Ever since we lost contact i feel like I've been drowning in a hole of sorrow and self pity but I can't possibly let that show because I'm the firecracker arnt I? I'm meant to be sarcastic and careless. But ever since he forgot about me I feel depressed and like the whole world is dark but ive become so good at hiding my feelings I just feel numb to the pain of it all. Somewhere between reminiscing about Rye and wallowing in self pity I fell asleep, only to be woken by the flight attendant telling me me that we had landed.

***********************************************************
Xx