What if Lily forgave Snape: Part 1

Chapter One

Severus Snape was walking down the hallway to the Gryffindor common room. He was a Slytherin but his best friend and the girl he loved was a Gryffindor. He had to apologize to her. He should have never said it. He would change, for her.

As he reached the portrait that led into the Gryffindor common room, he noticed that it was closed. It was about half an hour after dinner and he assumed most people would be in the common room. But if a Gryffindor happened to be out, Severus would be here waiting for them. He needed to speak with Lily. He would wait outside all night if he had to.

He sat down on the cold stone right next to the portrait. The Fat Lady looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He hadn't even tried to get in or even guess a password. Just as Severus was starting to fall asleep, he heard footsteps coming towards the common room. He looked up and saw a Gryffindor girl who was in his year. That means that she must share a dormitory with Lily.

It was Mary Mcdonald. The girl whom Mulciber had tried to hurt. Severus stood up.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him with a sneer on her face.

"Can you tell Lily-"

"I'm not telling Lily anything you say!" Mary exclaimed.

"Well, fine then! I guess I will have to sleep out here until she comes out," said Severus.

Mary gave an annoyed sound and said "Twitter Totter," and entered into the Gryffindor common room. Severus sat back down and put his head on his knees. 'She has to come out sometime,' he thought.

Severus stood up as he heard the portrait whole open up five minutes later. He watched as Lily Evens stepped out into the hall. She was in her dressing gown and looks like she was just getting ready for bed.

"What do you want, Sev?" she asked quite aggressively which was most unlike her.

Severus opened his mouth and closed it again. He tried to speak again. "I-." It was no good. He couldn't do it.

"Look, Sev. I'm tired and I don't feel like talking to you right now, so if you don't hurry up and say what you want to say, I'm going back to bed."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I'm not interested," Lily said scornfully.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled.

"Save your breath," she replied. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-," started Severus.

"Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Severus tried to defend himself, but nothing came out. He tried again. "No - listen, I didn't mean -"

-To call me Mudblood? But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Severus couldn't explain anything. Lily started to climb back through the portrait hole. Severus then did something very brave and very stupid. He chased after her, right into the Gryffindor common room. It was nice and warm, nothing like the cold and drafty Slytherin common room.

"Severus, what are you doing?" whispered Lily. "Get out before you get into trouble."

"Oh, now you care about me?" he asked, hardly keeping his voice to a whisper.

"Sev, I've always cared. But you need to get back to your own common room."

"Not until you hear me out, Lil," said a very determined Severus. "I refuse to leave until we talk."

"We did. You apologized, I don't forgive you," Lily whispered.

"I wasn't finished out there," Severus said. "Please, Lil, just hear me out. Please."

Lily's resolve vanished. It was the first time she had ever heard Severus ask for something with please attached to it. "Fine," she breathed. "But out there, so we don't get into trouble. In an empty class-room."

Lily left the common room with Severus right behind her. She led the way into an empty classroom. Lily sat down in one of the desks and watched as Severus paced back and forth in front of her.

"Lil, what if -." Severus took a deep breath. "What if I changed? No more Avery. No more Mulciber. No more calling anyone a "Mudblood". Would I then earn your trust back?"

"Sev, I don't know."

"Lil, you've known me since we were nine, before we even came to Hogwarts," said Severus with a sigh. "We've been best friends for almost ten years now. You know me. You know I can change."

"I know that, Severus. But what I don't know is if you will like it. I don't want you to be miserable," whispered Lily.

"The only way I would ever be miserable is if I lost you," stated Severus, looking at his feet.

"Ok, Sev. One more shot. But one screw up and I'm done. Do we have a deal?" asked Lily, trying to look into his eyes.

Severus looked up suddenly, a huge smile on his face. "Yes, Lil. We have a deal." And they hugged, like best friends. 'Soon, I will tell you how I really feel about you, Lily Evens. Soon,' Severus thought.