cruelty

Chapter 1.

they play with your insecurities and looks im their victim.

I am not alone. I've never had the lovely chance to feel alone or to even think to myself. The voices in my head laugh with glee and always beg me to do those horrifying, cruelty to myself. They would get down on their knees and start weeping, saying I have to do it to feel better. Most times I believe them. I believe that is my only way out of this solitude.

I sob for hours. What else can a girl like me do in this mad house? I'm stuck with no way out. I've tried to do whatever I can to get this voices out. I tried to hit myself till they came out but it never worked. They're still are in there and they prance around partying because of the pain I'm going through. It feeds their sick fascination knowing I'm hurting.

That's not fair. My hands are shaking and my heart is racing. My mind is feeling the impact of something hitting against my skull. It hurts so bad and no one can help me. I sit on the cold, concrete floor and rock back and forth with my arms wrapped around my knees. I start to weep silently as I beg the voices to stop. To have some mercy on me but they just give me a cheerful laugh in return and continue with a little dance in their step now.

I crawled to my dirty, ragged bed  and drag myself into the cold blanket with my eyes closing as I lay my head onto the pillow. I beg for warmth to come and wrap the thin blanket around my body as I can go without ripping it. I lick at the tears that spill over my lips and I taste the bitterness of it. I close my eyes and I'm thrown into that pitiful excuse of a nightmare. I know it's not real but I can't help but always think it is.

The demons looked at me with hunger in their eyes and then started to run. Where are they running too? oh. That's right -- me. I couldn't run, my feet were stuck. I looked as behind me and all I saw was black, no roads, and most importantly nobody to help me. I watched with fearful eyes and the demons got closer, I started pulling at my legs and I didn't care if I broke my legs. I just need to get away.

I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder and I screamed. The monsters were so close now and their sharp teeth were glistening with blood. Once they saw me, they grinned with happy, victorious smiles then as they were about to grab me -- I was pushed out of my dream and I groaned, refusing to open my eyes. I was warm though and with two arms wrapped around me.. What the hell.

I started to viciously kick, bite, and scratch at any part I could on the person whilst screaming, "Let me go!"

They didn't. They still held tight on me and slowly but surely, I heard a whisper of a man right on my ear. "Please calm down Penelope. You're okay. I promise you, you are okay. I'm right here baby."

It was a familiar voice and I opened my eyes staring into those eerily familiar green eyes of a baby faced black haired boy that stared right back at me. His eyes racked all over my face and was searching for something. I wonder what it was. Or was he looking if I was someone he was hoping was still here. Well disappointment to him then. The person he all searches for is gone and she will never come, she's stuck. I'm stuck.

I stared at him as he smiled slight and said, "Hi."

I didn't speak back. I just stared. I was being rude and wondering who the fuck was he and why the fuck was he here. He gave me a curious glance as to why I wasn't speaking since he knew I could speak perfect English from my earlier outburst at him. I cocked my head to the side and then shrugged, looking at that bastard of a doctor. He and my parents had tricked me to go here and I hate them. They hate me so why not hate them back.

"Why isn't she talking to me, Dr. Murphy?" There you go, now I heard the slight accent of a something I couldn't recognize and I realized it seemed like he was trying to maybe cover it up? I didn't know. It just seemed that way to me. I gave that doctor a blank look as he searched up what to say to the poor lad beside me, still hugging me, if I may add that.

"Either she's lost in her little world that she has created or she just chooses not to answer. I think it was a bad idea to bring you here today, Sean." Dr. Murphy finally said and pushed up his glasses to look at Sean better.

Ah! so that's this mysterious boys name. Cute. His cute. Too bad, I don't care and I wish he'd let me go already. I clenched my jaw as I felt the idiotic boy pull me closer and squeeze me tightly as if that reassuring. He was a fucking stranger that I didn't know and he had the audacity to hug me like this. What's the shitty hell wrong with this kid.

"Please go, Doctor. I want to have a talk with Penelope in private." He stared at me and his eyes looked like that they had darken. Now that was scaring me. The doctor gave me a unsure glance then nodded, walking out with only the sound of distant footsteps from behind the door left of his presence.

"I'm Sean and I'm your boyfriend. We're dating and you know that."