just smile || p.jm & j.jk

Dear jimin

Dear jimin.

I'm writting to you first. You are my brother and best friend so i have a lot to say. I'm writting this on my 2nd to last day of life. I'm very sorry that I have to leave you. You where the best brother anyone could ask for. I hate that you had to watch your younger sister die before your eyes. If i could I would have not told you. I feel like i have caused you so much trouble. You knew my medications by name and quantity. You knew everything about me. From my bra size to my blood type. And I love you for it. You where the best brother and friend. I seriously question why you at still single. You are so handsome and funny. Your caring and smart. I can't wait to watch you from above as you succeed in life. Never forget me. But please. Don't burry yourself in a pit of depression when I'm gone. I know it may be hard but please. For the sake of me and everyone around you. please just be happy. I want to look down and see my big brother Jimin slaying life with a smile on his face. The more I think about my last breath. The more I dread it. What will the afterlife be like. What will death be. I have no idea but I'm scared jimin. I don't want to die. But at this rate I have no choice. I just want you to know that I'm so sorry that I'm no longer here to hold your hand for all of your heart breaks and sit in the audience of your wedding. I will regret not being there for your future children. I really hope you never give up your dream. I have walked in on you dancing and your amazing. The way your slim figure manages to move along with the flow of the music. I knew you had talent more than just managing to remember everything I had to put into my body everyday. I hope that when I'm gone you don't blame yourself. Jimin, we all know what killed me. I really love you. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you. You took care of me for my last few month. Something I have began to realize is how much you start to treasure your life as the minutes and breaths are counted down to their last. I hate that I had such a short life. I never got to see my favorite bands in concert or even try anything on my bucket list. My biggest regret is making you help me. I know you did it cause you wanted to but I feel that you didn't get to experience what you wanted to. You where too busy taking care of your dying sister. The one thing I wish I could have done is change that concerned look on your face every night before you put me to bed into a smile. I knew you where worried about me and I didn't want you to be. I wanted to be happy and know that everything was gonna be okay. You knew my days where limited as well as my breaths but i wanted you to do things with your friends. You're a senior for god sakes and I was preventing you from having fun. And I'm Sorry I was such a burden. Just remember I'm always here. I will always be in your heart. I want to give you the one thing that means the most to me. Grandmas ring. I will make sure to give it to you and if I die before I get to that then take it off my finger. It's all yours. I know we used to fight over who would get it but being the nice brother you are you gave up and gave it to me. It was my prized possession and I want you to have it. I really want you to be successful. I have also heard you singing in your room. You're so good I can't wait to see what you take out of it. I bet you will make people smile someday. Like you did the last 17 years of my life. I know you never got to see me become an adult. But it's ok. It's the thought that counts. I will miss my best friend and brother, Park Jimin. 사랑해 지민 오빠!!!

박 진혜
Park Jihye.
Nov 1