What Lies Beneath

Chapter 25: Nullus Ordinarius Amor

When things got to be too hectic within the confines of Mystic Falls, Bonnie found herself retreating to either the cemetery or the woods near the park for a little peace and quiet. Sitting at one of the old rain worn picnic tables, she scraped the bottom of her tennis shoe back and forth along the grass, watching as the blades gave way to brown dirt. After an uneventful day in school where Elena was AWOL and Caroline constantly munched on Chex Mix, she'd ventured to the Grille for a milk shake to help her unwind and to cure her boredom. There she had met Luka— the new kid in town — and his lacking of subtle father who almost immediately questioned her about her heritage.

Even though afterwards Luka had shown his own powers, she didn't trust him and didn't see herself attempting to any time soon. She was done with random new men who took an interest in her. She'd learned her lesson with Ben and was not in the mood to be taken hostage ever again. Friendship was a possibility if he proved to be not evil but she wasn't even going to hold her breath. The past few months had made her jaded where people were concerned. She'd learned that not everyone was who they always claimed to be.

At the very least she would hope that Lucy would return someday soon to help her with her powers, and to teach her about their family's history.

Yawning, she glanced around the area that was so familiar and yet seemed like she had not seen in years. She could still remember the party where Elena and Stefan became more acquainted with each other. Where Vicki Donovan was attacked by some animal and left for dead in the woods. Back then things had appeared to be so terrible with no signs of ever getting better. If only she had known then what she knew now; that life would become harder as the days went on. That she would morph into this new person that she wasn't entirely sure she liked or respected to be honest. And always in the back of her mind she wondered if her Grams approved of the young woman she was turning into.

She was trying so hard to keep everyone safe but they kept making horrible decisions concerning their own well being. She didn't want to just stop caring but it was hard to continuously give a damn while the world continued to crumble around her. More importantly however she did not want to reach the point where she had nothing left to lose and just lost control of everything.

Herself.

Her powers.

Her life.

Yet she wasn't above seeing the small glimmers of good side that peaked from the clouds every now and then. The insane crazy witch Clarissa hadn't made another appearance since trying to kill her and Damon, and for that she was grateful but she wasn't naive enough to think she'd never  show up again. The girl was hurting and beyond the point of no return. She felt the only thing that could cure her itch was seeing Damon dead …and maybe in some odd way she was right. She wouldn't judge her for her reasons because however strange, they were right in their own way. Damon had murdered her best friend in cold blood to fuel his own evil agenda. Bonnie could only imagine how she would react if he hurt Elena for the same reasons.

Of course he'll never hurt Elena period so I do not have that to worry about. A fact which is both comforting and concerning all at the same time.

While she was happy that her vampiric boyfriend would never kill her best friend, his actions for not doing so were never fair from her mind no matter how fucken hard she tried to push them away. The most difficult part was not blaming Elena for their "close relationship" although a part of her wanted to. A part of her wanted to tell the brunette that perhaps if she didn't bat her lashes at him when she needed something done he would be less inclined to consider her needs. A part of her wanted to tell Elena that she was being a tad selfish and indecisive with Damon and her emotions related to him; that she either didn't want him around her anymore or she did. It wasn't fair for her to try to have it both ways or to pull him back to her when danger crept upon them.