Dazai x Akutagawa oneshot

Dazai x Akutagawa (not at all lol)

"I don't obey you because I fear you."
The black dressed male said to the other who let his hand slide into his pockets.

"Why then? You ordered the information I told you to get. You've come here to do another job for me."
The brunet listed, he was always pretty cold towards the younger but that's what made him strong.

"Reasons."
Akutagawa replied, not wanting to say why he actually did it.
the cold breeze of the night running through his dark hair as he spoke.

"Reasons?"
He took one step towards the other, setting a grin on his face while the step echoed through the empty alleyway.
"Come on, just admit that you're scared."

"And I admit that I was always cold and strict towards you but that's what made you strong and you don't have to be scared anymore. I'm not your mentor anymore."
Dazai added, the smile not leaving his face.

"Because I-"
He gritted his teeth, turning around as he changed his mind.
"Never mind, I completed your task and that's everything that matters. Right?"

"Because you~?"
The male in the trench coat teased the smaller male as he walked away.
"Don't leave me like that, Akutagawa~!"

He stopped in his movement, his back showing to the ex-mafia member as he started to speak:
"Because I love you."
Akutagawa continued walking away, his steps faster than before as well as his heart beat.

Why did he say it?
Why did he confess?
Why?

The suicide maniac remained for a while in confusion, watching the other rushing away before he ran after the male.

"So my favorite former subordinate has fallen in love~?"
Dazai asked teasing as he catched up with Akutagawa and let himself drop on him.
His arms resting on the males shoulders with his head resting on his right arm to look at the others pale yet blushed face and to prevent him from running away again.

"Don't do that when you don't love me back."
He said in a sad tone, his eyes focusing on the ground as he didn't try to run away anymore.
"You'll only engrave this in my mind and it might distract me at work."

The brunet got more serious, his dark mousse brown eyes looking into his soul devouring black which ignored their glance.
"How can you tell I don't love you back?"

"Do you have any reason to?"
The male's focus got off the ground, glaring into the dark eyes of the ex-executive.

Dazai wrapped his arms around him, his right hand laying on the younger's heart, feeling his fast heart beat.
"Stupid you, people don't always need reasons to love someone."
He spoke, nuzzling his head into the others neck, his soft warm breath touching the others pale skin in the cold dark night.

His heart won't stop beating way too fast and it only got worse, the other's warm breath on his neck let him feel like he was about to cry.
"So you love me back?"

The ex-mafia member raised his head again to look into his former subordinate's dark eyes.
"Not at all, I'm sorry."
He said in a sad tone.
He was always a strict teacher and knew that he hurt him.
Still, he never imagined hurting him in this way.

The black dressed male felt his heart stopping for a moment.
It hurt.
Everything around him seemed to stop for a short amount of time.
he felt something running down his cheek.
A tear.

"I have to go."
He said in hurry, his voice cracking.
The smaller male freed himself from the other's embrace and wanted to run away again as the brunet managed to grab his wrist in last second.

"Akutagawa."
He said soft.
He saw the tear.
He felt bad.
He didn't mean to hurt him.
He never meant to actually hurt him.
"I'm so sorry."

Dazai pulled him back, automatically turning him around while doing so.
The black dressed male bumped onto the other who wrapped his arms around him again, repeating the words over and over again.

"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."

The mafia member didn't say anything, clenching on the other's chest as he felt his heart tearing apart and tears running down his cheeks.
He was rejected but he might could stay there for a while, being close to the other.

That's what he always wanted, being close to him, yet his wish came true but his heart is slowly shattering apart.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
The ex-mafia member asked, his hands pressing against the others back, pulling him close.
His head resting on the others shoulder.

"What would be the difference?"
Akutagawa asked, his head pressing against the other's chest, his voice cracking up.
"I'm a flower that blooms in the darkness, I'm just not meant to be happy."

'A flower that blooms in the darkness can only ease in the darkness'

A well known quote in the Port Mafia thanks to the executive Kouyou Ozaki.

"Don't lie to yourself, Akutagawa."
The brunet said, pulling back to look into his dark soul devouring black eyes, his hands resting on the other's shoulders.
Tears still running down his face as Dazai wipes one away.
"If I managed to escape the darkness you can do that too. You are a flower blooming in the light which was dragged into the darkness by me. You should hate me for everything I did to you, I'm sorry."

"So you're sorry for giving me a reason to live, helping me growing stronger, giving me a place to live?"
He glared into the other's dark mousse brown eyes what only made him feel worse.
"I lived in a slum before you picked me up and let me join the mafia. Don't say I bloom in the light when I've always lived in the darkness."

The brunet's hands trembled at Akutagawa's words, how could he say that after everything he did?
Even though it's exactly what he always meant by his acting.
"Akutagawa, I can show you the world of the light. You can escape the darkness, you're not meant to bloom there."

"How? I'm not meant to be happy, not meant to live in the light, not meant to be loved."
The black dressed male said in a sad tone, feeling cold tears running down his face and Dazai wiping some of them away.
"Why did I even try to be happy? I'll never--"

The ex-mafia member slapped the smaller male, he couldn't hear his words anymore.
His guilt.
It's his fault.
he hurt him.
Now he does it again.
He can't stop hurting the other.
Why can't he stop?
Why can't he make him happy after all?

"Ryuunosuke."
He started to talk to him more familiar, looking into his eyes what made him feel like crying himself.
"What if you join the Armed Detective Agency? You can't be with me all along but you could be with me more. And I might start loving you back, who knows? You don't bloom in the darkness at all."

The younger's eyes widened at his former mentor's words.
He?
Being with him?
In the same organization?
Being able to be close to him after all?
He can do that?
He can-
He may isn't loved back but he'd be able to be close to the one he loves.

Akutagawa took a few steps forwards, letting himself fall against the others chest as he wrapped his arms around him.
Silently crying into the others chest.

Dazai understood that this was his answer.
A slight smile appeared on his face as he started to pet the others head and wrapped his free arm around the skinny male to pull him close.