At least he knows. (Sam X Sister!Reader)

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(Sam leaves for college and he tells you that he doesn't care about you.)
-
(4 years ago) (age 14)
"Sammy, please! You cannot just leave me here."
You begged your older brother as he threw his belongings into duffle bags.
He ignored your pleads and packed faster.
"Sam, please, I don't want to be a hunter. If you leave...I'll have no choice."
He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at you with cold and hateful eyes.
"I. Don't. Care. I have never cared, (Y/N). You are supposed to be making your own fucking decisions by now. Why are you so damn dependent on me?" He yelled, making you feel small and worthless.
You backed all the way into a wall.
He had never talked to you like that.
"I'm...sorry. I love you, Sammy, I'll see you...I guess."
You felt tears begin to crawl down your cheeks.
Making your way to the door he tried to grab your arm.
"No, It's fine, no more...I understand."
You mutter lightly.
You ripped your arm away and came face to chest with your dad, he was drunk.
As expected.
It was late and past your curfew, you'd hoped you would have had more time.
Dean trailed in behind him and saw you.
As you make eye contact, his face drains of its color.
"(Y/N) what the hell do you think you're doing awake?!" Your father hissed at you.
He grabbed the back of your shirt and pushed you onto the bed.
You smack your head on the headboard and immediately begin to feel lightheaded.
You saw Dean yelling at dad, something he rarely did.
You shift your eyes across the room and focus on Sam.
He's holding his duffle in his hand and has his mouth hung open, scared for his life.
Finally, your vision went completely black, the realization that you'd never see Sam again faded into a nightmare.
When you woke up the next morning, Sam was gone.
But you had a sense of relief...at least you got what you needed to say out.
You told him you loved him.
Whether he'd ever cared for you didn't matter.
-
(Present) (age 18)
"Dean...when we get there, can I just wait here or outside, or something?"
You ask nonchalantly, trying to ignore the anxiety that's crawling up your spine.
Dean didn't know about what happened the night Sam left.
"(Y/N), you haven't talked to Sam in four years. I thought you'd be falling out of your chair to see him."
You try not to make any kind of indication of the way you felt about Sam present.
"Yeah well, I just don't want to break into his apartment. I have a little class."
He rolls his eyes and looks over at you.
"Stop being a puss, you're coming inside."
At least you tried.
Coming in through his window was idiotic.
You could've just broken in through the freakin door, like normal intruders.
Now your hands are covered in rust and something you really hope is water.
"I hate you for this." You tell Dean as he starts to use a knife to open the window.
You can't exactly see his face, but you can practically feel him rolling his eyes.
With a happy 'yes' Dean slides the window up.
"Eureka." You say sarcastically.
You're the last to climb in, so you shut the window as quietly as possible.
It's too dark, so you can't see where Dean had gone off to.
Suddenly there's a loud crash.
"You idiot. What did you-"
You try to walk in a bit more, but before you can take a step a hard punch is delivered straight to your face.
The shadow pushes you down and you hit the ground with a thud.
Suddenly Dean tackled the figure and they fall to the ground fighting.
Finally, Dean has him completely pinned.
"Dean?!"
"Hiya Sammy. Looks like you're out of practice."
Sam flips them over and smirks.
"Or not...now get off of me."
They stand up and hug.
You are still sitting on the floor, slightly dazed from the punch.
The lights flick on.
Dean helps you pick yourself up, and you dust your pants off.
Sam looks at you with no emotion whatsoever...guess he really doesn't care.
You look at him coldly.
"Sam..is everything alright?" A pretty girl asks from the doorway.
"Yeah babe, this is Dean and (Y/N). Guys, this is my girlfriend, Jessica."
Her eyes widen greatly and she smiles.
"Dean and (Y/N)? As in your siblings?!"
She says excitedly.
"That's us."
You say, smiling at her and giving her a quick wave.
"I've heard so much about you guys, so what brings you?"
You stay quiet and shift awkwardly, not wanting to be the one that tells Sam the bad news.
Dean looks at you weirdly and rolls his eyes.
"Oh, we just need to borrow your boyfriend for a second. Sammy, I need to tell you something in private."
Sam walks over to Jessica and puts his arm around her.
"No. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to her too."
Dean sighs.
"Okay...Dad hasn't been home in a few days."
He says nonchalantly, trying to keep Jessica as unaware as possible.
Sam shrugs, not getting the memo.
This time you step in, annoyed as all hell.
"Let me rephrase that for him. Dads on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days."
Sam tenses and tells Jessica to 'give us a minute.'
-
Dean tells Sam about the situation while you look down at the wooden floor.
For those few minutes you stay completely silent, kinda wishing you'd disappear.
"Fine. We can look, but I need to be back by Monday."
Dean looks at you, asking for your opinion, and you nod in agreement.
As you and Dean head towards Sam's front door, where you and your moronic sibling should have entered from in the first place, Sam grabs your arm and holds you back.
You close your eyes, knowing the discussion that was about to go down.
"(Y/N), give me a sec. Just let me explain-"
You scoff and roll your eyes.
"Explain? Thanks, but I'm good. You left for four years. Not a visit, not even a damn phone call. You don't need to explain a thing to me, I know exactly how you feel. I didn't even want to come and bother you and your new life, but Dean insisted. So, for the love of God, let's just find dad and go our separate ways. It'll be easier for everyone."
He looks shocked as if he'd thought you'd forgive him without a second thought.
You can tell that he doesn't know what to do.
Suddenly, he pulls you into him and hugs you tightly.
His hug seems so genuine and kind, you hadn't felt that kind of affection in a long time.
It almost made you want to cry, but it also made you furious.
"Look, the way I handled things that night was...shitty. I didn't mean any of it, and least not in the way that it came out. (Y/N), I wish that I could turn back time, and take you with me. Let you be anything other than-"
"A hunter." You finish for him.
"(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I care about you so-"
You couldn't let him finish, it hurt too much."
"You sure had a funny way of showing it."
You mutter, pushing him away.
"Don't you think I worried my ass off about you? I wanted to see you, (Y/N), believe me, I wanted to make things right. But, dad told me I couldn't come back, so I kept my distance. I didn't mean to hurt you."
You dry the tears that fall with the sleeve of your shirt and laugh.
"Oh, fuck off! You didn't think about anyone but yourself, Sam. I was fourteen, and you left me stranded with an alcoholic and his little soldier boy. You don't get to apologize, you don't get to feel bad."
He looks at you with puppy dog eyes.
"You got to go to college, get a girlfriend, be happy. You got to be fucking normal, and you get to come back to this on Monday morning. Do you know what I'm going back to? A motel and a duffle bag filled with blood-stained clothes. No apology can change that."
Tears spring from his eyes, and he reaches out and touches your face, running his thumb across a scar on your cheek.
"it's crazy how much you've grown and matured over four years I mean...You're not a kid anymore, and I'm sorry that you never got to be. I should've helped you when I had the chance. I knew what it was like to have your childhood ripped away, and yet I let you go through the same thing without a second thought."
He stops for a moment and runs a hand through his hair, before releasing a big sigh.
"...You're right, no apology can change that. So, you don't have to forgive me, but please give me the chance to make things right."
Your anger started to fade, and you could finally think clearly again.
"I love you, Sammy. I really do, but I don't see you the same anymore. I mean it had been so long that I had hardly even recognized you. When I look at you, I don't see-"
"A brother." He finished for you.
He looked hurt and a little angry.
"I'm sorry, but we're practically strangers. I haven't had two brothers in four years. It's gonna take time...a lot of time for me to figure out if I even want you around."
You whisper the last part.
Hoping that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't say anything back.
"When we find dad, I'll be around more, whether or not you like it. I'm gonna show you that I can be a good brother. Help you get the life you should have had. I promise, (Y/N)."
He says, putting his hands on your shoulders.
You close the gap between you and hug him, enjoying the thought of being happy.
You know that Sam isn't going to keep his promise.
You know that on Monday, Sammy is going to leave, and you probably weren't going to see him again.
"I love you, Sammy."
At least he knew.
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1469 words.

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