You're My Music - A Riker Lynch FanFiction

Lost

Losing your best friend is like losing apart of you.  I felt lost. I couldn't explain to you what it felt like when Rocky said those words to me. His words felt colder than any physical pain I'd experienced. I know that sounds like some cliché analogy that I've probably made before but I don't know what else could describe it. Presumptively most of Riker's shirts have damp makeup stains on them from me crying into his shoulder so much. I didn't know who else to go to about it than him. Riker was stuck with most of my grief. I was half-laying on Riker's bed with my body tucked into him and my head on his shoulder. Riker was sitting up mostly. His body was resting against the wall but it was still slumped into the pillows. The position was quite comfortable.

"You feeling any better?" Riker asked. I shrugged without giving a verbal answer. Riker pulled me in a little closer and rubbed my shoulder and down my arm with his firm hand. He then placed his lips softly onto my head and kissed it. It was sweet and I was so thankful that he was trying to comfort me. At the moment, it felt like there was nothing I could be comforted by. I felt a bit selfish if I am being honest. So many worse things happen to people why do I have a right to be sad. I knew that was a terrible mindset and that every problem is valid, but I couldn't kick the thought.

There was a small ping noise that disturbed the complete silence. I popped my head up a little as I had no idea if it was my phone, or where my phone was for that matter. Riker grabbed his phone off his nightstand and looked at the lock screen.

"Nope must've been yours." He spoke. I looked around briefly and saw that I had dropped it on the floor next to his bed. I reached down and grabbed it. I clicked the home button to reveal a text from Rydel.

"Rocky's home." I spoke. I stood up from the bed.

"Are you going to go try to talk to him?" Riker asked. I nodded and left the room. The gala was 48 hours ago and I hadn't able to catch Rocky since. I was smart enough to know he was avoiding me. I walked down the stairs subtly not knowing where he would be. When I got to the living room I saw Rydel and Ellington on the couch watching Clueless.

"Interesting movie selection." I suggested. Surprisingly enough Ellington is the one who turned responded.

"Dude this movie is amazing!" He mused. Not the one I expected to hear that from.

"He's in the kitchen." Rydel whispered. She gave me an endearing look. "Don't take it to hard sweetie. He's just upset because he cares." I nodded and drifted away from the couch into the kitchen. Rocky was standing putting away a few of the groceries he had bought. I was never very bold when it came to social interactions, so I was sheepish approaching him.

"Thanks for buying milk." I opened. Rocky looked up from the fridge saw it was me that had spoken. He shut the fridge gave me a small nod and just dryly responded.

"Yup."

"It'll be nice having milk to drink sometimes you get tired of just water." I stalled. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You don't like milk." He responded. He was right milk was not a favorite of mine I had just frozen and didn't know what to say.

"Well other people like milk."

"Yea like your boyfriend." Rocky shoved a box of cereal inside and slammed the cupboard shut as he said it. I felt the pain starting to shoot into my gut again.

"I'm guessing you're still mad huh?"

"No. My best friend betrays me and I find out I can't trust my brother. You know my relationship with Riker was starting to get better but he really didn't shock me I'm used to him betraying my trust but you are supposed to be my best friend Rian."

"I am your best friend I don't understand why this has to be such a big deal!" I tried to plea.

"You know why it's a big deal we've talked about this!" He started in with a sharper tone.

"You are being so unreasonable you know that! You can go off and sleep with my friends but Riker and I are totally out of the question. I don't understand why you hate him so much he's your brother and you love him. I know you love us both so I don't get why you're so against us. Do you just not want us to be happy?"

"CeCe and I aren't serious and its different. Yes, I do want to be happy and yes Rian I do love you. More than you know. All I want is for you to be happy and that's why you can't be with Riker. You don't know everything about him." His tone shifted. I can't explain it, but something in his voice dropped the anger and picked up an almost sad tinge.

"Rocky we've been dating for a little while now we share everything. He's not a bad guy."

"Wow you guys have been hiding this for a while? I guarantee he hasn't told you everything." My brain raced back to all the times I never understood why Riker and Rocky didn't have the best relationship. There were a few instances when I noticed unusual things and I'm guessing this tied back to it all.

"What has happened to you two? What happened that broke your trust in him so badly." Rocky looked at me. He stared straight at my face but didn't move, didn't even say a word.

"You care a lot about Riker, don't you?" I wasn't sure how to respond to that. His angered toned lowered when he asked that particular question.

"Yes." I didn't know what to say to Rocky. Maybe if I told him how I truly felt about Riker than he would started to accept him. "I love him." There was a different expression on Rocky's face. His mentality changed completely. His expression turned from furious to dejected in an instant.

"You know what never mind." Rocky cowered. He looked so sad all the sudden it broke my heart. HE just darted away. It broke me to see that I was the reason that he was hurting. I just didn't understand why I was hurting him. I just wanted some answers.

**

There was a slight knock on the door.

"Ri-?" A voice made a small entrance into the room. I instantly recognized it to be CeCe.

"I'm sorry CeCe I can't right now." I wept still feeling my sorrows from my encounter with Rocky.

"Are you alright?" I loved CeCe to death because no matter if I told her I didn't need anyone she still made sure I was okay. Most people would be annoyed by this factor but I had grown to enjoy her spirit after living with her for so long.

"Not really, but I'll try to be. Losing your best friends sucks."

"I don't think you're losing him. He's just hurt, it'll get better. You guys have fought, before, haven't you?"

"I don't know I guess this one just feels different."

"Well anyways the mail came today. The university forwarded some mail from your mail box they received." I grabbed the assortment of mail from her hands. I shuffled through the random envelopes. There was a letter from the dean of students, a piece of junk mail from the shifty car salesman down town, and a bright colored envelope. It caught me off guard. I hadn't gotten one of these for a while. It was postmarked from Colorado. It was another letter from Mom.