I learned to start again. Over and over, again and again. The world never stops moving, it's a constant flow of moving, turning, and flipping lives upside down. That's what the world is all about. Changing people to the point, that changing them anymore would be so much that no one would know who he they were anymore. But we all change. There is no possible way to overcome change, you change yourself. You choose everything that you do. You make your own path. But, whatever you do know that you control yourself. There are people in the world who think it's wrong to offend someone with your opinion, and that you should just keep your opinions to yourself. But that's wrong, very very wrong. NEVER stop trying to prove your point, NEVER give up on what you believe in. If you change your mind on something, admit it, own up to your decision. YOU made it, nobody can make you make any decision. They give you the choice, and you choose whether or not to take it. If you're new, so what? Be bold, proud, and confident. Show what you got, don't over obsess about what you don't. That's what I've learned over the years of constant moving. I've always had the hardest time with moving around, I've lost control a lot. I've been introduced into a lot of bad things, and I've overcome a lot of bad things. I've endured the worst types of emotional pains, and some physical pain. Nothing could compare to losing her though. It was like losing your best friend. It's horrible, it eats at you very day. It's almost like you here it in most stories, she just ups and leaves at what you think always no where. Maybe it was the fighting, maybe it was her drinking, maybe she wasn't able to overcome the personal thought of herself cheating. Like I said, little things eat you up, but big things eat you up even more.
My dad has always been a huge part of my life. I feel like he's been trying to "make up" for my mom never being here. He gives me everything, things that I don't ask for, and things that I don't need. It's hard to say no to him. I just learned to say thank you and accept the gifts. Kinda like for my birthday he got me my second car, (remember I'm 17), and he let me keep both of them. My first car was a mustang gt, and my new baby is a 2017 corvette gray, with dark blue interior. I drive it EVERYWHERE I go, I could never leave it anywhere. I basically live in it , outside of my house. It's hard to leave it in my driveway sometimes, but that's just me and my anxiety.
I have to go to my new school tomorrow. That's always very stressful, but it would be less stressful because it was everybody else's first day too. Most people have been here the last 3 years, but I'll be ok. I'll find the classrooms, just like every other time I've been new. I think it's better, since I know that I'm gonna be here the whole year. I've never really stayed anywhere for a whole year besides kindergarten, and also 1st grade. It makes me happy to know that for once, I can really know that I can actually make friends. I never really made friends in the past, because I was afraid of moving when I wasn't ready. I missed most of my teen life running away from most of my problems. I'm was academically perfect, and I'll be taking college courses this year (my new high school pays for college courses as long as you're still a student inside of the district). I have many choices for my college, and a lot of choices for career paths. I know that I really earned what I have, and that I will not ever regret not working hard through college, because now I can do just about everything. But tomorrow is the day I have to choose what I want to do. It's really tough knowing that I basically I am an adult, so this year I plan on living out the "senior year experience", but I still plan on finish at least a semester of my freshman year of college. So tomorrow, I'm going to walk into that school and start taking my basic classes leading up to my med school class. I am going to practice to be a cardiovascular surgeon, and I'm going to be a damn good one. I often think way to hard about stuff like this, but I'm surprised I made this decision as fast I had.
Tonight has been crazy as usual though, unpacking and everything. I had to find my clothes for tomorrow, nothing too special because I've dressed up too many times for first days. And for senior year, it's not even worth it anymore. I learned how to dress for high school/college. Never dress up, it's all about learning not fashion shows. So, I grab one of my pairs of sweatpants, and one of my softball tournament t-shirts (I play softball and volleyball normally). This year I'm not as worried about playing as I normally would be, because I would have to quit the team when I moved. But, now I know that I won't have too.
