The middle

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At the age of 14 things started to get a little hard and weird, feelings towards people change you start to think to your self, what is my purpose, why am i really hear, things get really scary, you want to tell someone about it but you face the fact that people don't really care about what you say judging on your past. everyone makes you feel as if your just a waste of a person in the world and your nothing but you really want to been heard and noticed by people you start to change your self like the mainstream people so that you could at least feel like someone care. Some how you still know that they don't want you for the true person you are just for the person you are acting among them. Each day passes by as you do everything they does mimicking them doing the bad stuff they do cause other wise you'd feel lonely. Showing even the slightest hinge of our self and they start to judge you so you really have no one to open up to and all your feelings get bottled up with no escape. Few months into the future you realize that what you really want in life has changed and now you really don't know anything that you want, your confused even more corroding your own dreams just so you could feel friendship. Some friends they don't even care to ask how your day was or call you to see weather your okay or not unless they want something from you, on rare occasions you might get a text like " hey man, i'm kinda bored and well do you wanna hangout" and when you call its usually " dude i'm kinda busy today maybe some other time" those days as you check your social media you see pictures of all your so called friends having fun and posing things. To think that that was it the moment your home its either your dad scolding you or your mom telling you to do everything for her, and your cousins rarely call but they at least try to help you out but in this case you really cant open up cause your too afraid to lose the only 2 people that actually still cares about you.

- to be continued-

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