Alone Is What I Have [On Hold]

Prologue

She went quickly toward the beginning of the stairs, trying to hide the black robe in her hand from the eyes of the passers-by.
She went out into the snowy yard and inhaled the cool air of the freezing night, walking on the soft snow, wearing now the long black robe she tried so far to hide and when she realised that there's no one nearby, pulled the hooded cloak over her head, hiding her deep navy blue ball gown and stepped quietly away from the lively castle walls.

She looked back and continued to walk on the soft snow until she saw that she was far enough away from the castle and celebrations inside and decided to sit on a bench which she noticed in the heart of the garden she was in, all the snow that covered it disappeared in a wave of a wand.
She sat on the bench with her back to the castle and strengthened her grip on the cedar wand in her hand, directed it to a piece of snow-covered ground in front of her and murmured "Expecto Patronum" and immediately silvery mist burst out of the wand and transformed into a physical form of a wolf who walked on the snow along the bench back and forth, similar to thoughts of its owner.

Why did she feel so alone? So different?
Especially lately - along with the Triwizard Tournament and the arrival of students from Dormstrng and Beauxbatons - She was not supposed to feel so different and alone while the goal is to know the other and be friends with them, and especially not to feel this way in the Yule Ball night..
She feels that nobody notices her, nobody cares about her, as if she does not exist.. and despite all her efforts to prevent it, it still happened..
Tears stung her eyes, threatening to spill over, threatening to prove her defeat.

'I hate feeling this way! Feeling like nobody understands me, feeling that nobody cares about me, feeling that everyone will live better without me..' she thought to herself, and tears began to flow one after another, staining her blue dress.

Even here, at Hogwarts, where she felt so belonged - she could no longer feel this way anymore, not even in this evening of the Yule Ball... And the loneliness she thought that disappeared from her back then as she first stepped through the castle for the first time, is back.

'I wish I had gone only to not feel this pain, just not to experience it every day, deal with it, fight it..' tears have flooded her eyes and blurred her vision, she could no longer hold them nor stop them - she cracked..

The wolf stopped his pace and looked at her pitifully. "I wish you were real, giving me the hope and joy and not just distributing them.." she muttered to the wolf, 'at least you'll be my friend, I hope..' she continued in her heart. She looked down, closed her eyes and let the tears wash away everything; just the thought that she just wished her Patronus to be resurrected and be her friend saddened her even more - that she can't even get her mortal friends back, and she then realised how bad her condition is.

Suddenly, a good feeling was felt within her, ignited somewhere in the gloom and pain that surrounded her, a feeling she could not explain. She opened her eyes and looked toward the wolf and saw that a silvery raven landed beside it. The raven and the wolf looked at each other, as if they understood each other. 'Who is it? To whom it belongs?'  She wondered to herself.

"A remarkable patronus you summoned, to my surprise.. Why are you not in the ball as everyone else?" Said a deep voice beside her. She took off her hood and looked to her left, to the place where the voice came from, and saw that next to her sat a tall boy dressed in a black formal dress cloak, curly black hair, pale skin and bright turquoise eyes with a touch of gold - Sherlock Holmes. She looked in his eyes and he returned her gaze, there was something different in his eyes  - not the same spark of the Ravenclaw who always answers right even before the question was asked, that reads everyone like an open book in a mere glance and know their whole life story. It wasn't even the same spark of genius who is mocking everyone out of boredom. Instead, his eyes had a twinkle of serenity, tenderness and even vulnerability - things that she never believed she will see in the eyes of the boy who's next to her.

"Why are you crying?" he asked softly, noticing her swollen eyes. "I'm not in the mood, Holmes, then show off your smarting elsewhere," she said bitterly, "It's not polite to tease someone who asks about your well-being," he replied, still in that soft voice but with a pinch of barb. He sighed sadly "Why are you crying?" He asked again, and she kept in silent. She hesitated at first, and after realising that his intentions are not for her harm, she replied quietly, "I just feel like I ran out of hopes in the world, as if someone drained all the strength I had and I just wonder why I'm here.." She looked down and stared at the snow beneath her feet, tears stung in her eyes once again.
"So you summoned the Patronus. I understand.." he began to say "No, you're not! You just remove yourself from others but for me.. alone is what I have, and not by choice, unlike you.." she snapped him but he just laughed bitterly, "you think you're the only one?" He asked her after a short pause "I'm just like you except I realised that I'd have to give up the effort of fighting this loneliness, after years and years of being called freak and not because of being a wizard. Years when always, no matter where I went, I was different. So I understand exactly what is the feeling of being alone all the time, with no one beside me. But instead of self-pity I did not let it affect me." He continued emotionlessly yet with poison "Quite the opposite, it only makes me stronger because I understand what I did wrong and I know what I need to do and thinking about it too much is not one of the things that will help anyone in this case," he ended with the same emotionless voice, and she stood quite, regretting her words. They kept in silence for a while "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry I reacted with such selfishness. I was supposed to understand, and I acted as a fool." she replied in a small voice, meaning every word and the inconvenient silence ruled again "It's okay.. and you should know you're not alone," the boy said, looking back to her, "thank you.. I appreciate it very much, I really am" she replied and smiled slightly and he responded with a slight smile, too.

They both looked at the patronuses that played in front of them, "I guess none of us got something good this evening, it is over after all.." she said in a hollow voice and sighed deeply. Sherlock suddenly rose sharply from the bench and thought for a moment "it could be saved, but it's up to you," he said finally, extending his hand to her. She hesitated at first but decided to cooperate, took his hand and stood up, leaving the cloak on the bench behind her.
They danced to the distant voices of the music which still came from the ballroom of the castle behind them, 'maybe it's not so bad..'  she thought to herself.
"I must say that for a Gryffindor, blue quite suits you.." Sherlock told her with a small eerie smile, "Thank you.. I guess? You look well too this evening, Holmes," she said sincerely, blushing slightly. "Sherlock, would do well," he said at his last name and she nodded in agreement.

"Sherlock, what made you summon the raven and find me, may I ask?" She suddenly asked after the sounds of music have almost died. "I could say I felt like you, a little bleak, and I decided to explore a bit. Parties are not my area anyway, and I noticed you from afar and it" he said, nodding at the raven "felt your sadness and led me to you. I quite suspect they have some radar," she nodded in understanding.
"It is somewhat ironic your patronus is a raven just like the sign of your house.." she said after they stopped dancing and went to sit back on the bench, "is that so?" He asked in a voice which made her reflect on that.

"Well, it was.. nice. I should better be off. Hence, have a good night.." he said after a long pause and stood up, "yes.. good night, Sherlock, and thank you very much. For everything, this evening," she replied with a smile, "any time," he replied and mirrored her smile, "and know you're not alone. In case you need, then you have me," he added before turning around "the same with you. If you need, of course, then know that you have me too," she told him and he returned toward the castle and the raven followed, as she looked back smiling, the wolf in front of her began to beam even more.

Smiling that she will not have to worry about another happy shortage memories, because now she has one to take away the loneliness from her, that would allow her to create more powerful memories in the light of the friendship that began to form between the two in that night of loneliness and this one has curly black hair and glistening bright turquoise eyes with a touch of gold.