From the streets

Chapter 25

These past few weeks were dry ... I don't know what's up but I been feeling down . I don't know why. I'm just not in the mood. Not that I'm vex with anybody I still acknowledge people and smile from time to time. I just have this weight on my heart.
It hurts. I don't know why I feel like this.
I don't know if it's because the passing of Mel . Ion know but .... I feel like a damn girl.
No offense to all girls.
Mya think something's up. She all up under me and what not. I like the comfort she be giving me.

But it doesn't fully make me feel better.
She gave me advice , told me to give it to God and talk to him . Build a relationship. Pray. But for some reason I feel like he not there or he not listening.

I know she get annoyed because lately I dry answer her. I don't mean to but I can't get out of this state. I don't wanna hurt her no more I wanna love her.

I ain't good for her man. Wth. What I got that she want? I can't be like her. Tears start to slip out my eyes.
I can't love God like her. Look at my present and past my nigga what future do I have ?!

If I can't provide for her in the future then what ? God she gone hate me.

Nah but I can't bear seeing her with another man.
Sigh.
Let's just see where life takes us.

I'm suppose to pick her up right now. She at church. They got worship team practice.

I pulled up at the church as I turned the corner. Once I heard the music going I knew she wasn't finished.
Mya don't joke with worship.

I open the door and took a seat far in the back. Closest to the door.

No where to go, at the end of the road.
But I know you can save me.
Made some mistakes and I am to blame.
But I know you can change me.
So here I am, crying out Lord.
Please save me this time.
I know you can so here I am, Lord.
I won't let go till you bless my soul
Till you change my name
And I'm no longer the same
I won't let go!

Was this song for me God ? Bruh as I step in . Specifically this song she was worshipping. I feel like a lil emotional child.
I'm ready to cry man.
I take deep breaths to regulate my breathing. I wasn't going cry . Nah.

I manned up by the time she came over. "Babe ?" I went to hold her. "Right here sweets"
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.
"I love you August" I was shocked at her straightforwardness and how out of the blue it came .
"I love you too , why all the sudden seriousness ?"

"I was thinkin about you not that I don't do it all the time. But I just wanna thank you for loving back and being here being real not messing with my head or tryna play me like them boys at school I keep feeling it in my heart to tell you . You make me soo happy I could feel my heart swell. Your the first guy that really cared about me and treated me like a princess. I appreciate you, I really do August " she was crying and all I pulled her in for a hug . Them words touched my heart. I felt guilty for wanting to give up earlier.

She don't deserve to be left behind. That's my baby my princess my homie my lover my baby my best friend and soon to be wife .

I pulled her into the car and took off to her house. But I know I wanted to drive around first maybe stop for some ice cream before I drop her home.

"Mya I love you too babe more than you can imagine" I see her smile from the corner of my eyes.
I bought her ice cream and saw her squeal like a lil girl.

I couldn't give her up. "I forgot to tell you , I got a job at a def jam "

"What?! Babe why you ain't tell me sooner?!"
"Chill babe I'm working as a janitor. Nothing major."

"So you get to meet them fine people well artist ?!"
"Not really I just started too baby"
"Oh well it's still cool"

"Yep"
"Your destination " I pulled at her front door. Help her out and walked her to her front door .

"I hope you feel a whole lot better don't forget that I love you like a whole lot , let God take care of whatever you dealing with. "
Her smile was the thing that captivated me.
I leaned in and kissed her goodnight . This long kiss that left us out of breath.
"Bye"
"Bye"
"See you around"
"See you too "
"Night "
"Nigh-"
"August bye!! Go or we going forever stay here!" She laughed and that smile is what makes me feel better.
"Alright alright I'm gone " I raised my hands in defense while walking backwards to my car.

"I love you Mya "
"I love you too August "
"Love you more"
"Alright now bye!"

I loved harassing her. Anything to make her smile.
"I'm gone now!" I yelled out .
"Jesus take the wheel " is what she said for she slammed the door. I laughed started up the car and dipped.

Man tired I just wanna sleep. My tank too was empty. I needed money but I wasn't getting paid till next week.

With cha and the kids and my momma I needed fast money. Mya ain't want me doin that. So I'd just have to wait and learn to save.
When I reach home I was catching a bad vibe. The door was wide open.

"Momma?!"
I looked around. I hear somebody crying specifically my mom.
"Momma wassup, why you crying?" I asked as I dried her eyes.
What the hell was going on?!
Then I received the worst possible news.

"Baby .. We getting evicted "