Tyrion x Reader (One Shot)

WARNING: there is girl on girl at one part

Enjoy :3

You were walking through the empty battlefield looking at the dead soldiers laughing. "Look who's weak now, assholes" you opened up a bottle of wine and drank it then threw the bottle, smashing it against the floor. You wiped your mouth and walked over to the Lannister tents. "Hey yo, Tywin. Where the hell are you?" You called out, Tywin immediately emerging with Tyrion close behind. You jerked your head up a little "hey little man, shouldn't you be at a brothel getting drunk?" You laughed and Tywin chuckled. Tyrion glared at you. "What are you doing here, woman?" Tyrion spat, his words like venom. You just laughed. "I came here to tell your father that the final death count of the Lannister soldiers was 173 and the Stark soldiers 319. Also the amount of money lost on this battle is over 63 thousand gold pieces so far and I fear there's more to come. That is, however, including armour and weapon and accommodation costs so for all of your soldiers that's to be expected" Tywin and Tyrion looked at you in awe. "How the hell did you work that out?" Tyrion asked, you smirked. "Simple math and a lot of spare time, little man, although" you bent down to his height, demeaning him "you wouldn't know how to do that with that tiny brain of yours." You poked his head and got up laughing. He kicked your shin and you rolled your eyes. "Tywin, the imp is weak. Why did you keep him?" Tyrion looked at you hurt and he left. You watched him leave and bowed you head in apology. "I'm sorry sir, it seems I have upset your son. That is something I had never wished to do. My apologies." Tywin looked at you astonished. "You're apologising? After all that?" You nodded. "I meant it in good fun and childish banter, nothing more." Tywin smiled at you. "You're fond of the imp aren't you?" He asked. You nodded. "Indeed I am sir, he is a good man, smart, and one of my dearest friends. I never meant to insult him." Tywin layer his hand on your shoulder. "It's fine, just let him cool off a bit." You nodded and looked back.

After a few hours you went to find Tyrion. Walking through the tents you found his. "HEY TYRION IM COMING IN" you yelled walking in. Your eyes widened as you saw a whore with him but you dismissed it and walked fully in. He glared at you but you rolled your eyes, put your feet on his table and drank from a wine bottle. You winked at the whore and smirked, looking at her. "Hey doll face, you've got the body and face of an angel, what are you doing here?" She smiled. "Master Tyrion requested me." You laughed and threw the empty bottle on the floor. "Master? You have //got// to be kidding me. Master of sluts but nothing more." She giggled and you winked at her. You honestly adored women, they were perfect in every way so flirting with her was second nature. "What do you want?" Tyrion asked sternly. You rolled your eyes, got up and walked towards the whore. You held your hand out and she held onto it. You pulled her up, letting the sheets fall off her. You pulled her close and whispered "What's your name, my dear?" She giggled. "Rose" she replied laying one hand above your breasts. You smirked. "Well, Tyrion, I am here to apologise to you for earlier and I am here to make sure Rose is pleasured instead of you." You said before sliding your hands down her back and kissing her passionately infront of Tyrion. When you pulled away she blushed. You raises an eyebrow and mouthed 'wanna go to my tent' and she nodded. You carried her bridal style to your tent and layer her on your bed. "Here cutie, sorry about him. I'm going to get your things okay? Rest here." You said, kissing her forehead and leaving for Tyrion's tent again. As you got to his you walked in and apologised. "Hey Tyrion, I'm sorry about that. She really didnt want to, you can tell by her body language and expressions." You said trying to explain your actions. "Enough." He said and you walked up to him. "No, not enough. I'm sorry about earlier, I really am. Ask Tywin, I was a wreck after I insulted you. I'm sorry for stealing your whore, I didn't want her to have to do something she didnt want to do. I'm sorry for acting like a bitch Tyrion, I'm sorry." You bowed your head and wiped the tear off your cheek. Before he could say anything you asked "where are her things?" He pointed to a sofa "over there." "Thanks." You grabbed them and as you left said "See ya Tyrion" he smiled and laughed making you smile.

Back in your tent you gave Rose her stuff. She helped undress you and you both got into your bed together. You smiled and kissed her. "I'm sorry about Tyrion, he doesn't see when someone doesn't want to do something but as I can see here, with the way your legs are you want me" you smirked making her blush as she nodded. You kissed her and began to pleasure her. Rose had fallen asleep and you were caressing her cheek as Tyrion walked in. "What are you doing?" He asked. You kissed her forehead and got out of your bed. "Making Rose happy and feel loved." He looked at you weirdly like he didnt understand. As you were about to get dressed Tyrion walked over and stopped you, making you a little self conscious. "Um Tyrion, can I please get dressed?" You asked timidly. He hushed you and stared at you. "This is a magnificent sight I had only dreamed of seeing. Moose, you're so beautiful." You blushed and grabbed your clothes. "Thanks but I'm gonna get changed so see ya." You ran into another tent and got changed. As you finished putting everything on Tyrion came in. "I found you." You turned around and saw him standing there. "Yep here I am, trying to have a little privacy." You glared at him. "Sorry Moose, it's just I never thought I would see you like that." You rolled your eyes and hit him over the head lightly. "Come on little man, your father will want a report soon." You ran out of the tent skidding through the mud to Tywin to give a final report.

A few days later you got a raven. You opened it up and stared at the message wide eyed. After a few seconds you ran to Tywin, tripping a little on the way, to give him the message. "TYWIN, YO TYWIN!! WE GOT AN EMERGENCY!" You yelled running into his tent. He was at his table and rubbed his temples. "What is it Moose?" He asked looking at you. You slammed the message on the table. "The Starks will be here by nightfall. I checked over the hills and they're camping there waiting to attack. They're ready and our men will be here tomorrow" Tywin stared at you. "Fuck!" He yelled. You stared at him. "What should we do?" At this point Tyrion walked in with a man. "Father, I do believe Bron and I have the answer." You stared at them, listening to their plan. It was genius. "So we use your pawns while we wait for our troops. Clever." You smiled at Tyrion. "But we have to have someone at the front of the battle representing us. Moose, you go." Tywin said. You and Tyrion both snapped your heads towards him and yelled in unison "WHAT?!" "You heard me! Moose, you're the best soldier we have so get ready for battle." You nodded. "Right away, sir." You said gritting your teeth and walking to your tent. As you were in your tent swearing under your breath Tyrion came in. "Moose." You scowled at him. "What?" "I'm sorry I didn't know he was going to do that." He sat next you and hugged you, catching you off guard. "Moose, I'm sorry. I love you and I don't wa t you to get hurt." You looked at him. "You love me?" You asked and he nodded. "Yes I do, I always have." He looked away and you hugged him. "I love you too Tyrion" you pulled back and kissed him. "Promise me you'll be careful." He said cupping your cheek. "I promise." You kissed him and grabbed your sword. "Goodbye for now, my love."

You were in the midst of the battle, swinging your sword and slicing the heads of the Starks men. You had killed 53 me so far and you were only just getting started. Over the horizon you could see RobbStark, watching the battle. You fought your way through the swarms of men, leaving the pawns to die at the mercy of the Starks. You snuck away from the battle and were eyeing the young lord on his horse. As fast as a flash of lightning you had your sword through his chest and the horse had fallen killing several of the Stark army. As you pulled your sword out of his chest you turned around to be stabbed through the stomach. You spat up blood and sliced the man's head off. As the battle ended Tywin and Tyrion came looking for survivors. "MOOSE! MOOSE!" Tyrion called. He saw your body on the floor. "MOOSE!" He yelled running over to you. You looked at him coughing up blood. "Hey little man." You said smiling. "Moose, lets get you to the medic right no-" you cut him off, kissing him. "No, my time has come. I killed Robb Stark and in the end 97 others. I love you but good bye little man." Tyrion cried as you said your last words and laid in his arms.