Growing Pains

Prologue

From the age of four I had everything I could ever want. I was well taken care of and well brought up. My whole life, my mother spoke of caring for yourself because no on else would. So, I grew up only caring about myself and I promise, it took me years of practice to only care about myself. It took me eighteen years to figure out how to block people's feelings and emotions out and only care about me. 

Now that I'm eighteen everyone's a critic. Everyone wants to have their own opinion on my life and everyone wants me to listen to what they have to say and take their advice. When I refuse to they tell me I'm a spoiled little bitch that doesn't appreciate anything done for her. I'm confused. How am I suppose to care about your feelings without interrupting my life. 

I used to care about people's feelings. I use to listen to people, just the wrong ones. Now, I'm incapable of listening to anyone, but myself. I don't want people's opinions because they're irrelevant. I don't want my time wasted. Trust me, talking to me would be a waste of time because I already have everything in a plan. Kind of. 

I stopped caring about people's opinions two years ago. The year where my life was forever changed because of some dumb kid who could not keep it in his pants. I ruined my life for a twenty second hump and dump chump who was not worth the time of day. 

I believe that I'm smart. I believe that I'm strong and independent, but it's hard to be when you have two people in your life who continually press the fact that they gave you everything in the world and more. I'm ashamed, not grateful. Being given everything is not something to be proud of. It has no meaning, it has no depth when everything you want is handed to you on a silver platter. I'm disgusted at myself. I hate myself. 

I've worked for nothing in my life and I sit here finding myself telling a story that is so played out, it most definitely has no meaning. It's cliche. A spoiled little suburban bitch who rebels against her parents. 

I wish you could hear my thoughts. I wish you would understand my reasoning. It has more depth than just rebelling. It has more meaning than just simply because. I want to tell you my story and you don't have to listen, but I promise you. . . it will be worth it.