Heartbreaks In December

Heartbreaks In December

December 25, he broke up with me. The man I thought that he will never hurt me, that he will always love me. The man who promise me that someday, he will walked me into the aisle and swear to God that he will always love me. But things....started to confront us as we continued our journey together. I thought he will fight for me, but it turns out to be like this. He left me, dumbfounded....without clearing things.

"Elle, break na tayo."

Those words. Those fucking hurtful words. It really gave me a million pain in my chest and a million questions in my head. Why did he said those words? Ayaw na niya sa akin? It means, we're over now? Yeah, I think that is. We're over.

After that day, I'd promise to myself that I will never love again. I will never, ever love again. Mark my words. But after our break-up, start na naman sa klase. It's already January and we're exchanging greetings to each other. At sa araw rin yun, nalaman ko rin na pinagtaksilan ako ng best friend ko. Napa-isip na lang ako...

'Ano bang ginawa ko para ganituhin ako ng mga taong mahal ko?'

I'm lost in a labyrinth. I don't know where to go. As the days goes by, I feel empty and devastated. Crying in my own. No one cares anyway. Dinagdagan pa ng dad ko. He's cheating and because of that, mom file an annulment.

Depression. I can't take it anymore. What did I do that it turns out like this? I didn't expect this to happen.

My classmates started bullying me. Throwing stuffs of me and I didn't know what to do. But one thing is for sure.... I'm broken.

My boyfriend breaks me. My best friend betrayed me. And, my parents got separated. Now, where's the love?

After my parents got separated, I moved in my condo that my parents gave to me when I was 16 years of age. Naalala ko pa anong sinabi nila.

"Kailan po ba ako mag-live dito, mom, dad?"

"Pagka-18 mo na anak," sagot ni mom.

"Talaga? Baka naman sinasabi niyo na naman 'yan ni dad para utuin ako?"

Napatawa na lang sila habang ako ay nakabusangot.

As I remember those memories with my parents, I can't help but to cry. It's always like this. I'll just cry to lessen the pain in my chest.
Pero parang nadagdagan lang ang bigat sa puso ko.

Dumaan ang ilang taon, walang nabago sa akin. I'm still broken and because of that, naging cold ako sa pakikitungo sa mga tao lalong-lalo na ngayon na lumipat ako sa ibang school.

I'm so famous in my new school. Sana nga lang kung positive na pagka-famous. Sad to say, but they're always talking about me being a cold, rude, heartbreaker, and etc. All negative nandiyan na. Pero wala naman akong magawa dahil totoo ang sinasabi nila. For them, I'm a mysterious girl with a cold blue eyes. Binansagan ako nun na kahit taga-ibang school, na-co-curios na rin at nakilala ako.