A/N: I don't care if you don't read this. But if you know what I'm talking about then maybe you can relate to this.
Why is it that the days I feel good about myself and don't feel like I'm gonna brust out crying is that days where I feel so broken and empty? I feel like I'm surrounded by people but no one can hear my cry for help, my cry so save me? It's the days where I just wanna end all the pain but can't. Almost like I feel that no one is gonna care if I just left, vanished. Why do I always have to be the rock for people when I don't have my own? Why do so many people think that medicine and counselors will help? If I go to drugs then I go to drugs it's my fault. No can hear my pleas to stop the pain , to stop this feeling of worthlessness I feel. Misery follows me, my demons slowly kill me. I'm never free of them, no matter how long I take medication, how long I'm in treatment demons never die. There is no hope, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, only a feeling of worthlessness and pain. You never ask to be this way, you try to ask God why but all you get is deathly silence. You feel as if no one can save you from this Hell, you go deeper and deeper until you no longer can see what you are doing to your family and friends. You try to build walls, you try to shut people out but they still find a way to break you even more and then you fall. You fall to rock bottom. You tell no one, you crawl out of abyss but every time you fall deeper then you go so deep you fall into madness. You can't control yourself, and then you finally manage to pull yourself out but not without some battle scars. It can be from cutting or burns but me? I pick at my own skin. Your body is littered with scabs and open wounds. You try to get help, you try to talk to someone about it but you get the same thing "ya know this is really bad for you! Do you know what can happen?" But all you can do is say "I know, I'm working on it" but they don't belive you, they treat you like a glass doll. But little do they know this doll is broken.
