The teacher walked into the classroom it was the first period of the day. A Monday, I remembered. 24th August 2016, 7.38 a.m.. It was P.E.. class. The class was wild as usual as our teacher walked in. There was Lily and Cecilia were gossiping at the back, a group of boys were running around in circles, May and Silva were laughing at a book they were reading, a group of the smartest people in class were debating about the recent elections going on in the United States of America. I was there, alone. Lost in my thoughts again. I often do that while staring at a blank space on the table, thinking, overthinking, specifically. I was diagnosed with O.C.D.. long ago. If you do not know what that stands for it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a mental health issue that has grown with me through out the years of struggle. Other than that health issue, this health issue also given me depression. I remembered that day as a bad day. It was just it was just a day before I heard my dad arguing through the phone with my mother on who is going to take care of this "insane" child when he leaves this world. He has been diagnosed with cancer the last two years ever since the divorce. My mom just left when we found the divorce papers on the dining table.
The teacher shouted at us to go down to the school fleid for the class. I stood up as I blinked out of my thoughts. As I was walking out the class down the corridor. I heard my name being called. It was Louis, my brother. His eyes were red, tears streaked his face, his hands in fists. He looked at me and nodded. I lost it. The world just went black.
I woke up in the room, the scent of antiseptic filled the air around me. Louis was looking out the window. He turned and forced a smile on his face. He wrapped his hands around me and cried. He held my hand as I got out of the stiff hospital bed and walked into the corridor following the elevator then another few corridors into one of the thousand rooms of the hospital. There was a body covered with white linen. That lifeless body was my dad, silently left this world of hate. Pale like other bodies, eyes closed, arms by the body. I never got to say goodbye. Tears fell to the ground silently. We went out of the low lit room and sat outside by the door.
Apparently, my brother knew. He got a call from the hospital a few days ago. He never told me anything. He kept it from me. He knew. He knew dad was going to leave but he didn't tell me. Why? He said to protect me. Lies. Those lies... I ran, and never looked back. I heard my name but I didn't bother to look back. I ran up the stairs, to the roof. I fell...from the edge. It was red then black.
I woke up unable to move, to feel. Sitting in a wheelchair as I was pushed here to there by a nurse. For a few months. Going in and out from the doctor's office. Missed school and the chance to go home. Was just there. Stuck. In my own world. Me, myself...and I. And those voices, thoughts in my head. Louis visits everyday, asking how was my day. He never got and answer. He actually put effort to make me laugh. To smile. But he doesn't know the sleepless nights as I cry myself to sleep every night. Everyday. I think he knows but I don't know. He puts so much effort I think he should just give up. Really, I'm not worth his time when he could be doing something else more productive. Why do I feel that way I don't know. I don't know. I should stop being a burden to everyone and leave me. Just unhappy as usual. Ha...I guess this is depression at it's finest is it not? If not why am I sitting here talking to you, sitting here going through this, why was I even born? Is there no bed of roses in my life? Why can't I be born in a happy wealthy family with no issues? Why? Why? Why?? I just don't understand it. I don't. There's just...so much...pain.
Finally the psychiatrist broke his silence. what do you think about Louis then? He asked. At that point I felt so blind. Why didn't I see it. I was just so blinded, I didn't see it...
Hie guyss!!hope u guys liked the story there might be a 2nd one coming up! please vote pweaseeee!! thank you fro reading :DDD! leave a comment wif questions if u wan hahah thank youuuu!!!
