Escape Arise

Staying With Death

This story is my own and not to be copied!

Why do we have to live if we have nothing to live for? Cant we just end it all? Can't I just end all this pain I'm receiving all the time?

Those thoughts ran through my mind the exact day I held the rope in my quivering hands and stared at my cold, scared reflection in the mirror. That was the day I hung myself, the day I stopped the pain and everything felt clean and fresh, and I didn't feel scared or alone, instead...I felt nothing.

Staying With Death

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I sat alone in my room, my hands blocked the loud screams and horrendous sound effects entering ears, my eyes squinted shut and I crouched into a ball and lay on my bed silently weeping myself to sleep, and it got to the point I had just about drifted off to sleep when my body would jerk and I would open my eyes and remind myself of what was happening around me.

Cold shivers ran down my spine as I heard abuse and shouting from my parents, do they not know I'm up here crying into my pillow, do they not know I cry myself to sleep every single night, do they not know I cut myself more than twice a week to end the pain inside for just a few moments until it creeps back inside you just so you can cut again..and I suppose the cycle repeats itself. I don't suppose they know I wish I were dead, or perhaps they just don't care.

So as I took a deep breath in, and sat up from my lying position, I glanced over at the rope I had stolen from my fathers supply garage, and this time there was no going back.

So I grabbed the rope and squeezed it in the palm of my hand, then I looked over at the mirror hung on the wall, my face red and blotchy from the tears that fell uncontrollably, and the scars and bruises I had received from my father every now and then, and the black eye and dried up mud I had in my hair from a group of people at my school, They pushed me into a puddle of mud as I lay in the freezing cold while rain drops flew from the sky, and I just lay there because there wasn't a bone in my body strong enough to steady myself.

My grip on the rope increased, I stared up at a wooden barrier on my ceiling, then back down to my hands that were now red from my grip. I dragged my wooden chair out from my desk and stood on the chair as I fiddled about with the rope, struggling to tie it around the barrier.

Suddenly my door creaked open, my 14 year old sister stood lifelessly at the door, her body weak and hopeless, she stared at me in horror.

"What- What are you doing?" She stuttered.

I blinked once, my sister Florence was the only one I had left, I loved her so much, but feared that I would drag her down with me if I continued my life, she had tears running down her cheeks by now, being the older sister I knew to comfort her.

I stood off the chair and walked over to her slowly. Florence took small steps closer to me and as I approached her I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"You know you'll do better without me Florence" I whispered releasing my grip from the hug.

"No!" she cried.

I began to cry along with my sister, as I lay both of my hands on her cheeks and kissed her forehead, then I gave her one last hug and gently nudged her out of the room.

"Please Candice!" she exclaimed over the screams from downstairs.

I closed the door leaving me alone in the room, and I walked over to the chair and stood upon it. The rope was tight as I formed a loop in it and tied it around my neck.

There were loud bangs on my door but I blocked them out. This was the end.

I kicked the chair and suddenly felt a strong, tight pressure around my neck.

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