Eponine has just found out that the guy she likes has asked another girl to prom. As she walks home from school she talks about her feelings for this guy.
I hate him! No, I love him. Ooh, I don't know! I love him, and yet the attention he pays me is cold. Distant. And how does he repay me after I helped him find that two-a-penny, good for nothing thing whom he 'claims' to love? He repays me by being an asshole to me and then
he asks her to prom. (groans angrily) Why am I so stupid? Because I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bare to see him suffer. He was desperate! He wanted her and so I led him to her.
Oh, I hate him for loving her. I hate him for the pain he has caused me. So why does he still talk to me? So he can have someone to shoot cold looks at whenever I get close to his girlfriend? So he has someone he doesn't have to utter a kind word to? And so he can continuously break my heart by being with that whore. And yet, deep down, I still love him.
I've lived for those few, those rare, those happy moments when I was in his company! For those fare to few times he had erased the pain, the horror of my life!
Good God, I don't know what she sees in him. I guess it could be his intelligence and his good looks! And the way he looks at her. Ugh! It makes me sick. I wish he looked at me like that. And the way they're always all over each other. It's just disgusting.
I love him. Despite the times he's bitter, rude and arrogant when I'm around he's actually not that bad of a guy. On his good days, that is. And somehow all his 'good days' are when he's with his girlfriend. Still, I can't see why he'd rather have her than me. I guess it's because she's happy, rich, beautiful and blond. Oh, the blond ones. All the good guys fall for the slutty blond girls. How could ANYONE ove a sad, ugly street urchin like me.
Perhaps she deserves him more than I. As much as I hate to admit it. He loves her. She will make him happy. And yet, I can only dream he will one day love me but that is just a mere infatuation as I know that will never happen. He will be happy, I will be happy, and happiness shall make my life good again, and the world shall be a wondrous place! For I can only hope...only dream...only wish. Perhaps someday...but until then...even to the day I die...I'll still love him. On my own.
