Careless Bitch (Completed)

Lit The Wrong End of your Cigarette

Josh was home sobbing uncontrollably and well..he didnt want Tyler to see him like this. Weak unstable...he knew...Josh knew..he was weak. If it was up to Josh the minute that Tyler walked up the stairs and into his room he would grab him and cuddle him forever..but Tyler ruined it. He ruined everything...probably forever..Tyler's lips were tainted with the dirty likes of Pete. His body has been up against him...Pete was dirty therefore Tyler is now dirty.
"Not like he wasn't before."
My mind says to me and for once I didn't defend Tyler. My chest hurt so much and my heart was gonna explode..not because of love though..because of Betrayal...
"You know what'd make you feel better Joshie?"
I listened to the voice and it had turned into his guide. Overloading his conscience and body.
"What?"
"Feeling the nicotine dance across your lips again and smelling the beautiful aroma of it."
"Fuck no! You're wrong!"
"I'm never wrong Josh. Or am I? Wait..I was right about Tyler right? Right Josh?"
The voice kept repeating itself.
Until my body started to be overloaded.
My hands gripped tightly on my arm. My nails scrapped against it harshly and the sting was beautifully familiar.
"Do it Josh. Smoke. It'll make you feel great."
With that Josh lights it. It feels wrong..
Like he's lit the wrong end of his cigarette..but yet it feels so right.
He exhales deeply and takes another drag. Then again and again. Soon enough it's gone and he gets another one out and lights it immediately, almost like the cigarette was waiting to be ignited.
Josh throws himself on his bed, almost collapsing from all the adrenaline he was feeling. It was amazing..
He couldn't seem to keep his lips off the cigarette.
He could feel his lungs being flooded...
But he didn't care.
He didn't care about anyone anymore. Why should he? Nobody cared about him.
Josh's eyes were shut in a gut wrenchingly pleasing way...
Not one of love but one of pain being overpowered and covered up by addiction.
That's when his door opened and Tyler came rushing in.

"Jeez it smells like death in here!"
Tyler says as he lays on my bed.
"Yeah well don't get used to it."
Josh said carelessly.
Tyler quirks an eyebrow.
"Which means you'll stop smoking?"
"Nope."
Tyler's eyes shoot a glare and panicked look at Josh,
"Then what does that mean Josh?"
Josh simply relaxes his body more.
Taking another drag.
"Josh answer me?! You don't wanna be with me anymore?"
Tyler says frantically sobbing, tears running down his face. For a minute Josh forgets all the wrong that Tyler did to him. He wants nothing more than to cuddle him but then the taste of nicotine brings him out of those good old days.
Those days where Josh would compliment Tyler and he would blush and they held hands...but those days were gone. Completely soiled.
Tyler sat there trembling.
"Tyler I think you should go."
I said sternly holding back tears...
Because what Josh said earlier about hating Tyler was completely right but completely wrong at the same time.
Josh loved Tyler to death...
Tyler ruined the love that they had together..that's why he hated Tyler.
But heaven knows he loves him more than anything.
Tyler shakes his head slipping his shoes off and bringing his knees up to his chin.
He cried violently and scooted closer to me.
"Josh...please don't do this to me...
I love you.."
I snorted and took another drag as Tyler looks at me crying and in disbelief.
"Do you Tyler? Are you fucking sure?!"
By this time...I was crying and shaking. My hands stinging me, urging to be more hurt.
"Josh?! Of course I love you."
Tyler sobs out, coming closer.
I grab my cigarette and press it to my arm as it burns me, I feel my pain be replaced by physical pain.
"Josh no!"
He grabs my hands and pulls the cigarette from me.
"Ty give it back."
I mumble, feeling agitated but not wanting to hurt Tyler like He hurt him.
"No Josh it's bad for you."
Tyler cries.
"Look Tyler...please just leave. You already hurt me enough. I don't need you here hurting me like everyone else in my life."
Tyler gives me a puzzled look then gets up from the bed and stares me in the eyes.
*slap*
Just like that. It happened so fast I didn't see it coming at all.
"What the fuck Tyler?!"
I say outraged.
Tyler just stands there then tears start streaming from his eyes again,
Then he gets closer to me,
His lips brushing against mine.
He climbs onto my lap and wraps his legs around my waist.
I don't question it as I start moving my lips against his.
His soft pink plump lips that I've missed the feel and taste of.
I wrap my arms around his waist.
Tyler cries into the kiss we're sharing and suddenly I pull Tyler onto the bed and I grip his waist tightly as I pull him towards my chest. I don't care anymore. I don't. Just for today Tyler can be mine and just mine again.
"Josh....how did I hurt you?!"
He asks lips trembling.
I pull away and look at him in the eyes,
"Tyler you cheated on me."
Tyler stifles a laugh then sobs.
"Josh, what the fuck!? No I didn't!"
I move further away from him.
He doesn't even wanna admit that he did.
"Tyler I saw you."
Tyler moves closer and presses kisses onto my neck. I close my eyes and except the kisses.
"Josh, when did I cheat on you?"
Tyler says tears streaming down as he presses another kiss to my collarbones.
"I saw you with....P-Pete Wentz."
Tyler moves away from me and wraps his arms around himself.
Protectively?
"No. No please! Don't touch me!"
Tyler yelps screaming and barricading himself in the covers.
I look at him scared then I uncover him. And he screams again,
"Please just leave me alone!"
He cries,
I press kisses to his cheek then I wrap him in my arms.
"Hey hey calm down, it's just me. It's Josh. Calm down. What's wrong Ty?"
Tyler cries into my chest,
"P-Pete..."
The picture flashes through Josh's head again. He's angry.
"What about Pete?"
Tyler hugs me and pulls his knees up,
"H-He...He tried to rape me."
That's when Josh goes back to the picture in his head.
Tyler pinned to the wall.
Tyler basically connected at the hips to Pete.
Hands behind his back.
Fuckfuckfuck! No!
"What?!"
Tyler cries again, pulling at his hair.
I hold him closer,
"Princess it's alright you're safe now."
Josh doesn't say anymore. He feels like the biggest idiot. Like he doesn't deserve someone like Tyler.
I don't though
I let Pete almost rape Tyler.
I'm the biggest fucking idiot.
"Tyler I'm so fucking sorry!"
I sob and Tyler looks up at me through his eyelashes and kisses me. Both our lips are trembling and when our lips separate I miss the warmth of his lips.
"I-it's o-okay..."
Tyler says crying.
"I was just so terrified!"
He cries,
"I'm so so sorry I left you there princess. I'm supposed to protect you...I don't deserve you."
Tyler continues sobbing into my chest until he ends up drifting off to sleep in my arms.
I move my arms slowly and grab the cigarette from the stand.
Smoke.
No.
I quickly dip the cigarette in the glass of water beside my bed. I cuddle myself up closer to Tyler.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
If someone ever tries to hurt my princess again they won't live to see another day.

A/N:
Hey guys. Sorry for the emotional ride.
Thanks so much if you're reading this it means so much//
And also yes I was listening to The 1975 ok. Sue me.

-Emily 🌸