When All You Can Do Is Cry

Chapter 1 Guilt😥

Bradley pov

Its like waking up one day and looking outside to find nothing but an aching headache you've had forever has actually split your head open because of guilt.

I know I'm not supposed to blame myself after all she never told anyone about it.
I remember coming home to find my mother crying in the kitchen , her hair untied,my father's eyes were blood red as if he just finished crying.

I slowly walked in and my mother looked up and ran to me apologizing, mumbling that shes dead. I held my mother asking my dad who's dead , he slowly walked up to me and said that he was sorry that no one knew except her mother, but Madison Jones died from lung failure due to cancer.

I could feel the tears falling from my face. Maddy and I were not close but we had a relationship but it wasnt one to be proud of I was her bully .

You would think that me as her bully I would know everything about her and I did know everything; I knew she loved Oreos and chocolate, I knew when she smiled she would light up a whole room , I knew that her big hazel eyes would be every mans downfall , I knew that I was also madly in love with her.

You probably wondering if I'm in love with her why do I bully her ,well it's simple all I wanted since kindergarten was for her to notice me but I approached her badly and I just became her bully.

Today is her funeral, the day we bury her.

I slowly get up from my bed and walk towards the bathroom. I look into the mirror and all I see is guilt, my skin is pale white, my lips dark pink, my eyes swollen from constantly crying last night, my head aching from lack of sleep. I keep staring at myself until tears start flowing down my face. I take off my clothes and get into the shower I put the cold water on and I start crying.

It's all my fault.

***

I'm standing in the kitchen, wearing a nice, expensive suit. My mom comes in the Kitchen wearing a long black dress and looks at me and starts crying,it must be hard for her since she used to babysit Maddy when her mom worked nightshifts.
I walk towards her and hold her. I hold her for a while until Dad comes in .

"It's time to go." He says as he looked at my mom.

I let go of my mom but I still hold her hand as we walk to the car , my dads standing next to his BMW, wearing a similar suit as mine.

He tries to smile at me but it's uneasy as if his about to cry. My dad used to be best friends with Maddy's dad before he died.My mom used to say those two were inseparable when she met them .

I open the door for my mom waiting for her to enter but she kisses me on my cheek instead.

" I love you baby, just know I love you, you and your father are my world. Please drive safe."she says.

I had told my mom I would drive myself to the church since I didn't want to be seen crying.

" I love you too, mom, you too dad I love you ." Just as I said that my mom and I started crying , dad looked like he was on the verge to crying.

They both get in their car and drive away and I stand there starring at them but thinking off Her.