The 100th Hunger Games- Fourth Quarter Quell

Chapter 40

Lawrence POV

She's asleep. Tears have became part of her face. We've been here for hours since that one kiss. That one kiss that changed it all. I felt her heartbeat's pace go slower. Calming. And finally I have the confidence that she does love me. Love me. That's a funny word for a girl like Carmen to say.

Distant. Intimidating. Cruel. That's the first impressions of someone like her. She's wrecked, alright. But somehow, my eyes broke through those walls. She can be happy. Cheerful. Bubbly. 

This Games. They wreck us. They kill us. And they destroy us.

~~~~~~~~

Carmen POV

"Don't. Just don't. I can't do this."

"You can. You'll be fine."

"Just.. don't leave me. Stay."

"NO!" I screech. I'm awake. Lawrence is right next to me. This time, I convince myself. He's my boyfriend. Relax myself. 

"Cold sweat, huh? Nightmare, babe?" He consoles me. By this time, my heart is racing so quickly. I can't take this pressure. 

No. You can't tell him. You can't him what happened. You just can't.

"Yeah." I say, somehow with the softest voice I muster up.

"Tell me. You can trust me."

"You shouldn't know. It's not worth it. Lawrence, please, just. Let me be alone."

My pride melts in front of my eyes. Lawrence steps out, with the saddest of puppy eyes. He... I can't. Guilt burns through, coarses through my bloodstream. I can't stop myself. I'm just that scheming.

Liar. Idiot. Asshole. I am all of these. 

I can't. I don't want to remember. But I do. He's in the snow, fighting for his life. I can't do anything. I loved him. I really did. But did any of these help. Feelings. 

I shut myself down after that. Froze emotions.Kept my feelings to myself. I have no one that I can trust. No one.

Winter. Winter. He's there. Smiling at me. Waiting for me to see him. In a better place. In a better time.

I close my eyes. I see that scenario.

"I'll be here. But why aren't you happy? You love winter."

"Because all happy things come to a closure. I don't want that to happen. I don't want that to end."

My first love. And my only. Until. Until he. He just moved. On to a better place. At the wrong time.

 His last word still stick to me.

"Stay."

~~~~~~~

Lawrence POV

I walk down the mindless halls. But today, it isn't the same. No training will help with this. Only one question burns through me.

Do I love her too much?

She's my everything. From her Everdeen signature braid to her smile that rarely appears on her face. Her smirk. Her laugh. Her tears. It forms her. This is her. This is the one I fell in love with.

I can just sense it. She's hiding something. She has something that she concealed from getting out. I just know it.

I can barely hear Paylor speak when she pulls me into the command room. Inside, it's the Games' programming.