Why?

Why you?

Why did you have to go?

Why can't I come with you?

Why aren't you here?

Why doesn't it hurt others that your gone?

Why can't I die and be with you?

Why you?

Everyday I ask why. Everyday I get no answer. Everyday is just another day with out you, without my heart. I need you Kendra, why can't you see that!?

No one understands how much pain I'm in, I hide it all just so I don't stand out even more. But sometimes, I have to let it out. I have panic attacks. I can't control the anger and emotion twords my baby sisters passing. I never got to meet her, she never got to have her first breathe! She is my only full blooded sibling I have, and she's gone forever!

.....why aren't you in my arms kendra?

Why?

:'(

Everyday I wish that I could be with you. Whether or not I'm alive, it doesn't matter. Aslong as I'm with u. Why can't I take that jump?

What's stopping me?

I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. Is it the fact that I'd miss my family and friends to much, that I don't want to have to see them in pain. I'm supposed to take the pain away from them, not give them pain.

Is it the fact that I am trying to prove that I'm not like my real mom or my older sister.