Two Of A Kind

Dan: Two

Dear Bubbly Blue Eyes:

Hi. Well... I don't know where to start. I guess I'll explain what my name means, not that there's much explaining to do anyway. I've got a ridiculous emo haircut and my eyes are brown. Exciting right?  

Anyway, I'm rather sarcastic and pessimistic, seemingly the opposite of you, that is if you aren't lying. I figure most people in the grade are going to pretend they're someone they're not.

Anyway, this is kind of lengthy as it is, but I love Muse, FOB, P!ATD and MCR like you, lol. Anyway this has gone on for a while and it's like 2am so I gtg. Bye.

                                                                                                                                                                      Goodbye: 
                                                                                                                                                                 Emo Coffee Eyes
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I turn off my computer. It's way too late for this dumb project, I don't even want to do this in the first place. I close my eyes, hoping for sleep at some point before 6 am. 

I wake up, to my alarm at 6. I realize I slept until now, which is great. I get up, and pull on a black t-shirt off my floor, and some skinny jeans. I stumble into the bathroom, plugging in my hair straightener, for my ridiculous curly hair. I despise it so much, I just wish I could have normal hair like most of my friends. Well, they aren't exactly my friends... just people. Followers, who do everything I do. I'm not sure how it ended up like that, but it's how it's been since year 8. None of them actually know who I am and what I like. Oh well. I finish up, and walk back into my room, throwing a black beanie over my head, because why not? I walk down the stairs, quietly, not to wake the rest of my family. I like my parents, I guess, but I feel like they hate me. Like my brother is always what they wanted and I was just the leftovers. The mistake... I could go on but I'd rather not ruin my day before first period. Eventually, I get to school after catching the bus. Unwillingly, mind you. I take a deep breath, almost forcing myself to get into this building of fake smiles and bottled emotions with hidden distress. Walking forward to my locker, I stumble across my favorite victim. I don't know why I do it, it just... comes out... a coping mechanism, because he's everything I am and what I have to hide. He's gay. I'm not, I can't let it happen, I won't.
"Oh look, it's Phillip, the gay boy." 
"Dan, please don't, not today. I-I've just- never mind. Go ahead." Phil looks down, taking off his glasses, sliding them in his bag. I falter, shocked. I did this, I broke him. I made him weak. I detach myself from my emotions, and take a swing at his stomach. He grunts, and I kick him to the ground.

"That's what you get for being queer, you worthless failure!"

"I-I'm sorry..." Phil breaks down and starts crying, but he still tries to choke back tears.

I put my hood up over my head and storm off with my bag flung over one shoulder. I eventually wind up in the bathroom, hiding in a stall on top of a toilet, crying. I didn't mean it, no, I didn't... But I did. I said it because that's what I'm called, my father says it every day with a new collection of slurs and swears. I'm sorry, Phil. But I'm not, because somewhere in my twisted mess of a mind, I meant it. I believe it. Everything is such a toss-up and I don't know who I am or what I feel, except one thing is crystal clear. What I've done, can't be replaced.

Hey guys! It's me, Waterthorn. I'll try to keep these little notes short not to bore you all, I would like to say I don't mean any of the gay slurs I used, and I apologize for even using them in the first place, but I feel it's necessary for the story.