Saving Clara-Grace

No food, No hope, No happiness

I'm sitting alone in my room at the orphanage thinking if I should go hang out with the other kids or if I should just stay here. Hm. I think staying here would be the better option.

"Clara darling!" Called one of the most sweetest workers, Lily.

I didn't respond. You may want to know why? Yeah well thats because I think it's better for everyone if I just keep to myself and not talk. I find that it helps alot when your me.

"Clara, it's breakfast time love. Are you going to come down and eat?"

I shake my head, No.

"Oh please Clara. Surely you can't be sick again. You haven't eaten in weeks." She implys.

Little does she know. I don't eat and when they think I do, I just go throw it up afterwards.

I just give her a sympathetic look and just look straight back down to my lap fiddling with my hands again.

"Oh, okay.. Well I will keep some in the fridge incase you get hungry a little bit later. Oh and Clara, please feel well again soon." Yeah. I doubt thats gonna happen.

After Lily had left my room I pulled out my sketch book and began to draw. I was sketching the view thats outside my window on the second floor. The lovely weather of London. Its always cold, rainy and sad. I guess I kinda like it.

Drawing has always been a hobbie of mine. It makes me feel good about myself because I always have Lily telling me I'm good at it. Without my sketch book I have no clue what I would do because the sketch book is like my diary. I draw all my thoughts and sometimes it gets people wondering. Why does she have such dark thoughts in her head? Another thing know body will ever know.

I finished drawing the view from my window I heard a knock on the door.

"Clara, hey are you alright love?"

She wondered.

I nod, Yes.

"Okay well it's 5:00pm do you want to have a shower and get ready for dinner?" She asked politly.

Wow! Is that how long I have been in here for!? Oops.

I nod my head yes in response to her question.

Once Lily had left the room I walked over to my dresser I share with another girl and pulled out a night gown that Lily gave me when I first came here. I got my toothbrush, some of my other small toiletries and then walked over to the girls showers.

Twisting the knob for the cold water then the hot I waited till it was a perfect temperature to get in.

I washed my hair, then my body and I just stood there. Still. Just thinking about what happened at home once.

*FLASHBACK*

I'm in the shower washing up after a hard day cleaning and getting beaten. Again. Just when I thought itd be finished for the day.

Knock knock.

"CLARA HURRY UP AND GET OUT THE SHOWER YOU LITTLE BITCH!" My 'mother' Leanne yelled.

"Yes sir. Just wait a minute please." I replied in a strict and polite manner.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME SIR!? AND IM NOT TAKING ORDERS FROM YOU!" She yells and comes storming into the bathroom and then shuts and locks the door behind her. She then drags me out of the shower butt naked and pulls me by my hair over to the sink.

"Your gonna fu**ing cop it." She warned me.

She started filling up the sink with cold water. Oh no. Maybe she is gonna hurt me? Drown me even!?

"Get the fuck here." She said and holds my hair.

I look at her and obey.

"Your a little brat and you deserve to die! Know one wants you here, Clara! Especially after what you did to Calum!"

She started dunking my head in the sink. She held my head under the water. What the fuck am I supposed to do!? I start squirming but she pulls me and then dunks me started back in. She starts hitting my head and I just stop moving.

She pulled my head out of the water.

"Your lucky I'm gonna stop. I just want you to suffer. Go get clothes on and leave." She says as she slaps me across the face.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Oh my god. I shouldn't be here. I miss Calum so much and if it wasn't for me he would still be here. I begin crying and crying. I pull out my razor blade and stare at it.

"I have nothing else to live for. I'm not pretty so why not?" I mutter quietly to myself.

I did one.

Another for the death of Calum.

Another for being hated.

Another for Leanne.

And another for Reese.

A few more should finish it off.

After I did that I cried. I regret it. But it felt good.

I cleaned myself up and bandaged it the covered it with the little braclets I have.

Crawling into bed I wonder, why did this happen to me? And when will this ever end?

Finally I closed my eyes and let the nightmares begin.

            ***AUTHORS NOTE***

Hey guuuys,

First off I thank you guys alot for taking a chance with my story and reading my first chapter. I don't want this story to be like other dumb qliche storys so it will take time.

I'm so sorry for the language being used but I warn you my story will be very detailed with things.

Once again thanks guys for reading and please give me some feed back.

You mean alot guys.

~ xx_itsasecret_xx