All I ever want to do anymore is take that blade to my wrist, but I know I shouldn't. I don't want to go back their. I know it hurts everyone around me, but why should they care? It's my body, I'll do what I want with it. "Wait til your 18 to fuck up your life. Then you can cut your body all you want, but you aren't doing it in this house." Why wait? I already started so there isn't exactly anyway to stop it, at least that's what I tell myself because honestly I don't want to stop even if everyone wants me to stop. Sigh. But this feeling of being trapped is too overwhelming. And it will remain here the rest of my life. So if I have to feel this torture at least let it bring real pain and suffering and not just mental pain and suffering.
